The sun and I

Posted in Characters

Why on earth do they schedule tennis during the summer months? I understand it is a traditional summer sport, but the infrastructure going into things these days; the huge, indoor centres with their capacity to close the roofs, the air conditioning: I mean, why is it still necessary to follow the sun?

I have been on the international circuit for ten years, another ten as a junior: the early coaching, the local, and eventual national competitions maturing and honing my game. But the long exposures: days, and weeks in the baking, unrelenting sun have taken a toll on my skin; long ago losing its supple, smooth tone. Visiting the skin cancer clinic is a part of my off-season professional routine.

I carry a small brush in my bag to lather myself in suncream before the matches. It’s actually one of Dad’s small paintbrushes. My Celtic heritage, the trademark reddish hair, the fair skin, the freckles all provide countless column inches for the tabloids.

I suffer and after last January’s outing in Melbourne, I realised I have had enough. At the pressa’, following my loss to Raffa, I gave the media a bit of a spray. Australia, with its rampant skin cancer statistics, still think it’s acceptable to expose us to this extreme southern hemisphere slow roast.

The administrators introduced on-court ice-packs and chilled water, ever our own eskies next to the couches: umbrellas, to boot, but then they just sit back, happily counting the numbers, calculating the profits, while we entertain the crowds, sometimes with five sets on court temperatures reaching 50+ degrees. Something has to change!

My game suffered. No matter the gruelling gym routines, the unending practice sessions, the endurance training; as the seasons rolled around: Melbourne, London, Paris and New York, the hotels, the constant, pressured environment; it all took a toll. I saw one headline accusing me of being a lazy player, always favouring the drop shot and the backhand slice, reducing court movement to a minimum, instead of their preferred baseline play. I instructed my agent to write a ‘stinger’ to that bloody journo.

Yes, I’m giving it away. I have three Grand Slam singles titles and two Olympic golds to my name. I don’t need to prove anything to anybody. I have climbed the ‘tree’, but the input is unsustainable. Yep, I know I’m in a rarified club, able to bring Kim, and the kids along as we swing around the globe, but enough is enough. After New York – finito!

I feel a slight prick as the needle goes into my shoulder. As I lie back on the table, I reflect on that last slice against Novak, it dropped ineffectually into the net. The match was lost, but the crowd were appreciatively cheering; on their feet, whistling, clapping loudly as we both made our way to the net. Holding back tears, I bade farewell to the circuit.

The surgeon takes up her scalpel. I doubt if this will be the last slice!

Toil and trouble

Posted in Domestics

Was it a buttercup, or a dandelion? I remember childhood explanations about the import of holding a blossom under your chin – it meant that ‘love was close at hand’, but which bloody flower was it? I could use a bit of loving right now, but another bit of residual memory dictated that disaster would befall if you held the wrong flower.

That same youthful oracle had also whispered knowledge of money for lost teeth, behaviour affecting the size and value of Christmas presents, the necessity to avoid pavement cracks and ladders, immediate mopping of spilt milk and salt, avoiding black cats, and a hundred other necessary curbs on my behaviour. In the intervening years, I reckon I had probably transgressed all of them, at one time or another. And look at the mess I was in now!

I left last month: a suitcase, the dog, one of the cars, and a shouted promise thrown over my shoulder to use the courts to pursue half the house and our super! It took a while to arrange but I eventually found a solicitor. There was a flicker of recognition as I walked into his office. He had been at our nuptials. He reminded me of the heavy rain on that auspicious Day!

On our honeymoon, I remember asking Tabitha if she had any superstitious thoughts about the torrential downpour. She scoffed at my question; “… just old wives’ tales…”. I did note her grandmother’s garter, hitched high on her thigh, and a delicately woven, silk horseshoe nestled within her bouquet. You should have seen the hullabaloo from her mother when, during his speech, her brother Duncan knocked over a tumbler of water, which in turn shattered the salt shaker! Nah, definitely no superstitions in her family!

Maybe it was the deluge that doomed the marriage. Tell-tale foreboding continued to trail inextricably through our lives. We found a wonderful block of land: commanding views, affordable, but the sale was abandoned when she realised it sat at number 13. And then, when another block was found and the build set to start, she insisted that we bury a bag of coins and a pot of fresh urine under the foundations. That had me flummoxed.

Feng Shei inveigled everything: mirrors, pictures, plants and furnishings were placed specifically. Our children’s names were selected on the advice of a Baby Name consultant; holidays never included a Friday 13th; we always fed the magpies, and carefully escorted Daddy Longlegs spiders outside.

As the years passed, I found it easier just to ‘go with the flow’. The bizarre possibility, maybe even the probable, preordained potential apocalypse was perceived as a presence, awaiting an ill-considered trigger. Her obsessions dominated our lives.

The final straw came when I walked into the kitchen to find a cauldron on the stove, a diabolical stench filling the room as she stirred up a brew of frog and lizard bits, a possum’s tail and fresh oak leaves. I didn’t ask. I just packed a bag.

I love ‘em, but …

Posted in Domestics

I’ve just about had enough of their self-serving, belittling attitudes. Things just don’t change.

I remember the cute, beret-wearing, goateed guitarist at the festival. His guitar work was spellbinding and I intentionally positioned myself to loiter within his orbit. A couple of my friends knew him from elsewhere and raised eyebrows when I whispered my intentions. I ignored their advice, and before I knew it, I was in his bed. He grew his own weed, and ‘tabs’ were often included in the party mix. Fun times, for a while, but I found him in bed with my girlfriend.

I took stock and tried to be more circumspect in selecting future partners. But the next special ‘other’ arrived at an end-of-year party. I had seen him in the corridors, and once or twice we rode the elevator together. Boozy parties were still my weakness; I fell into his clutches that December. His flowers arrived weekly, we ate out regularly at fancy restaurants and he was forever bringing me expensive clothes, perfume and jewellery. Tres-romantique but the cops arrived one night, and he went down for a string of home invasions.

Then there was the gym instructor. Muscle upon muscle and skimpy shorts suggestive of stimulating adventure. We moved in together and he organised and supervised my fitness program. His dietary demands were testing: I learnt to hate almond milk, lentil soups, and leafy green salads, but he did manage to wean me off ciggies. The booze and red meat were my undoing. He found the receipt for The Steakhouse luncheon in my purse. How dare he! We fought – him about my meat break-out; me about his bloody intrusion.

Other men tumbled in and out of my life but then, I turned 30! The biological clock gave a flicker, anxiety arrived at about the same time as Bruce. We were both post-grad students at Melbourne, me completing a post-graduate Sociology degree, him a Masters in Residual Rangeland protection. We clicked, sharing books, fine dining, bushwalking and camping.

We married, had two wonderful kids, serviced a huge mortgage and developed our individual careers satisfactorily.  There were occasional flareups, but always patchable. But snide barbs started to be thrown. They were bitchy, targeting my studies, insinuating that I put them ahead of the kids, a preference for reading over shared intimacies, and coldness. I responded with a query about his incessant overnight work trips.

I took it for a while, assuming that his dandelions and weeds, or whatever it was he studied, were out of kilter, but his constant niggling was wearing thin. A close friend suggested I watch my rear-guard. I did and his affair came to light. He announced an intention to leave. I had his clothes, library, seed collection and camping gear on the nature strip by day’s end.

Is it me; my chemistry, or something else? I ponder life’s dealt hand. I reframe it and decide that, well, I mean, … oh men, they just work very differently than me!

The Beachside line

Posted in Tripping

The distant, mournful hoot announces the approach of the old train. It will wheeze into view shortly, predictably, just another journey along this beachside railway line, first taken one hundred and sixty years earlier!

The railway was originally built to move the wheat and wool coming from inland Australia, down the Murray River, finally connecting to the nearby saltwater port, and from there, into square-rigged clippers destined for distant markets. The train nowadays mostly entertains holidaymakers, tourists on the South Coast thrilling to the experience of riding a steam loco beside the popular surf beaches.

Jacob van Straalen trained as an engine driver back in the 60’s, following in his father’s footsteps, and still delights when at the controls of these steam-driven behemoths. The soot-laced steam envelops everything, and everyone in the cab as his Fireman feverishly feeds the flames. The black dust settles into his pores, dark rivulets coursing down his old, stubbled face: a taste, maybe it was a smell that will challenge even tonight’s shower.

The coal rivals the smell of the rotten egg gas that rises on the low tides from the crusty, exposed seaweed at the water’s edge. He is never sure which he associates more with the job: the dust, or the weed. No matter really, they both instantly place him in this cab, an indelible combination that regularly seeps into his subconscious.

There are the occasional holiday specials that have the loco travelling north, beyond the riverport, into the hillside towns beyond. Jacob is always at the controls, thrilling at the anticipated opportunity to use the old bridge north of town: but first, the cemetery.  It sits on the left, just before the bridge.

He releases a blast of steam into the whistle, in part salute to the departed souls, in part just for the hell of it. He smiles – that hoot will be heard for kilometres – he hopes the cemetery residents appreciate his habitual gesture.

He is approaching the high fly-over above the creek, 20 metres down to the burbling water below. Jacob slows the loco, gently easing onto the bridge, the engine’s pistons slow to a soft hiss and suck, hiss and suck, moving forward carefully, while from below he hears the distant echoey rumble off the bridge’s stone and brick palisade. The train sets up a low repetitive vibration: it grows in intensity as they pass the bridge’s midpoint, and then that puckered kiss as the compressed air bounces off the far wall, and the train returns to terra firma.

The final run for the day: back along the coast, now with a south-westerly pushing up the surf, drawing the body and board riders into the swells, a high tide reclaiming much of the sand, the setting sun abandoning those remaining pleasure-seekers to their evening pursuits. The several roads accessing the beach provide Jacob with the excuse to hoot, toot and whistle with total abandon, the beach crowd smile, they’ve heard his salute before, just another beach run complete.

 

A phlebotomy visit

Posted in Domestics

I am 9th in the line snaking along the driveway and the early morning chill means we all hunker into our jackets. I presume most of us ‘early birds’ are ‘fasters’, coffee is the priority on most of our minds. It certainly is for me!

The front door opens, we file in, grab a number from the desk dispenser and settle into the waiting room. This morning’s phlebotomist ignores us, walking outside dutifully to collect the wheelie bins. She returns, still ignoring the crowd as she opens all the blinds. Twelve sets of eyes surreptitiously watch her routine. Those collective eyes swivel instinctively as the pre-programmed overhead distraction bubbles into life. Without looking, I identify Karl’s distinctive laugh, reciprocated by a bubbly young cohost. “Number 1” is called.

The routine is routine, six-monthly ‘bloods to ensure I get up in the mornings! But today, things are different. She briefly does what needs to be done with #1’s blood extraction phial, but before calling for #2, she is amongst us, checking our pathology forms. “OK; yep.” ”OK.” “Yep” “Er; hang on, have you got a urine sample?” “No” “OK, I’ll get you a container. The toilet is just through there.” She points and continues her rounds of the room. “Number 2.”

We all dutifully wait, one chair vacated for toileting duties. The TV tells us that Spiro Stavris has been cleared of assault charges arising from Saturday’s game; Jenny Jones is sharing a fantastic new recipe for breakfast pancakes; Trump is suggesting a denuclearization of Iran after he has orchestrated a regime change, and Hector the Bull Mastiff has won the prestigious Warracknabeal Dog Show. We get a rundown on a challenging new game show starting next week. All riveting stuff.

The hollow, light-hearted banter is seductive. I gird my defences and take satisfaction from resisting the temptation to cast my eyes screenward.

I scan my fellow patrons. Two are intent on their phones, fingers flicking up, down and across in furious expectation of enlightenment. Four others are closely following the TV. I continue to studiously avoid the screen, belatedly noting a stain on the knees of my trousers – pruning yesterday. I’ll need to buy some Preen.

“Number 9” and I’m on my feet approaching the desk; Medicare card and form at the ready. “Please state your full name, date of birth and address. I pass muster as a legitimate, grounded soul and am instructed to make my way along the corridor to the middle room. She follows and closes the door. “Can you tell me your full name, date of birth and address.” I repeat my cardinal credentials. “Any arm preference?” “Right is good.” “You’ve got great veins.” I quip: “yep, a great intravenous user, in my day.” I note eyebrows rise and I settle as three little containers are filled perfunctorily.  “Can you confirm your full name, date of birth and address?”

Fearing an irreversible loss of self, homestead and actual existence, I coffee’d at the next door café.

Contingency planning

Posted in Imagined

Date:                     22rd November 2023

Venue:                  Phoenix, a gated mansion owned by General Sebastian Makepeace

Agenda:               Contingency planning for the US, post-November 2024 Presidential elections

Participants:

  • General Guy Warren, Chairman, Joint Chief of Staff
  • General Sebastion Tippett, Commander, National Guard
  • Mr David Rubicon, Director Federal Bureau of Investigations
  • Ms Lucy Oswald, National Reconnaissance Office
  • Ms Susan Connally, Director, Central Intelligence Agency

Status: PEO Lv 1 (participant’s eyes only).

General Warren: “Ladies and Gentlemen: friends. I believe there is a problem of national significance brewing, so I thank you for coming at such short notice This meeting has no official status, and I hasten to assure you all that there will be no minutes of our discussions.”

“I won’t worry too much about preliminaries, but I have been considering calling this group together for the past several weeks. Today marks the sixty-second anniversary since the sensitive work of our collective agencies was last on public display. I believe we are approaching another momentous moment of equal stature. I believe that we are facing similarly dark times.”

“Our Nation is on the brink of the abyss. The upcoming election might well determine our future. I believe that apart from the Civil War, there has only been one other occasion – that pesky upstart populist taking the White House in 1960 – when our great nation has been exposed to such a potential unravelling of both our civil society and our international standing. We cannot sit idly by and allow this to happen. It is beholden on us to intervene.”

“I want to take a moment now to put several scenarios before you. I think we need to think urgently upon them.”

Scenario One has our incumbent, an aging President dying in office, with the Vice assuming the Presidency for the interregnum period through until the scheduled November elections. A temporary solution! The residual scenarios are still in play.

“Scenario Two sees our incumbent leader re-elected into the Whitehouse. I not only have a privately sourced, medical assessment of his advancing incapacities, but I think we all share the horror of the insurrection that followed his elevation two years ago. A repeat of that result will most likely see another mob uprising, but probably with a much sharper zealotry. Our failure to bring legal redress to those January events will embolden participants.”

“Scenario Three will have the Republican candidate taking the House. God help us, given the utter contempt he shows for our international allies, and our institutions. His dalliance with our enemies, his empty, populist rhetoric across the Nation underscores his total lack of expertise for this high office. I believe our mighty country will not survive another round of his idiocy!”

Scenario Four will follow a close result, giving life to the growing divide between the ‘haves’ and the ‘malcontents.’ We assess that there are somewhere close to thirty-five million military-grade weapons held in private hands. On top of that, the NRA estimates the number of personal guns in the hundreds of millions! Social media amply demonstrates its capacity to galvanise a general ‘call to arms’, local vigilante groups, warring against each other, fighting in the streets, a national uprising.”

“Ladies and Gentlemen, desperate times call for desperate measures.”

There is a sombre mood across the room. David Rubicon clears his throat, about to speak, but settles back into his seat, reflectively. There is a knock on the door and coffee arrives, providing the necessary opportunity for members to move from the table, to stretch their legs.

Susan walks across to the large bay window and surveys the manicured gardens, the distant hills, the cloudless blue skies. Sébastion takes the opportunity to use the bathroom. The delegates quietly sip their coffee, separately, introspectively and privately mulling over the presentation.

General Warren returns to the table. The rest follow. “As I said, these are dark times” reaffirms Adams. “The question that remains in my mind is whether or not the country is ready to accept an alternative, interim President?”

David squirms slightly, coughs and addresses the ‘elephant in the room’. “Are we suggesting a ‘strategic removal’ of both contenders?”

“Yes, it’s on the table” says Warren. There is a collective, audible intake of breath.

“Like Kennedy and Oswald?” queries Susan, her voice breaking, as she spoke. Warren nods. “Oh, my God.” She remembers the sometimes mooted rumours heard when she was first recruited into the Agency, the involvement in preliminary planning and support for Dallas, all those years ago. Her mind swam, in partial disbelieve that were approaching the same platform, again!

“Precisely, yes. As I said before, these are perilous times and I believe America is close to an irreversible slide into oblivion!”

“But how can we do it? Surely a civil breakdown would erupt, slaughter, towns against towns, States against States. It will put the Civil War antics into the shadows” proffers Sebastion.

The enormity of the discussions swirl around the table for the next sixty minutes. The illegality, the logistics, the blowback, the outrage that will inevitably follow. General Warren gently massages the discussions, letting the discussions move around the room, the logic of the proposal, and eventually arriving at the pointy end of how to possibly achieve such an outcome.

“Our man in Moscow uses Novichok. In North Korea the same. “My God, I am amazed that we are sitting around this room discussing this”, opines Susan.

Warren straightens himself. “We have nine or ten months to work on the logistics. The assignment, the assassinations,”  that word, its first use in the meeting, fell like an axe across the heads of the assembled members, “… ah, will need to be simultaneous, to avoid the obvious suggestion that the party apparatchiks are responsible. No, we will need to have a foreign patsy again.” He was warming to his subject! Both Israel and Ukrainian owe us, big time.”

“I admit to liking the Novichok method, but the simultaneous delivery will be tricky. A marksman won’t gain necessary access, given security logistics. Their staff try to ensure that their schedules don’t overlap. No, I think it will involve those mini drones., somehow”

“I anticipate there will be some televised debate between the two contenders. Probably in September. We need to have our planning well and truly concluded by that date.

I suggest we meet again in a month. Meanwhile, can you individually ensure that any travel documents created in getting to this venue are redacted from your official records.”

STOP PRESS:

Authorities are calling for calm as they investigate yesterday evening’s simultaneous shootings of General Guy Warren, Chairman, Joint Chief of Staff; General Sebastion Tippett, Commander, of the National Guard and Mr David Rubicon, Director Federal Bureau of Investigations. Each has been gunned down at their respective Washington offices. The CIA’s Director, Susan Connally was also an apparent target, but was away from her office as assailants stormed the building. Breaking news; more details as they come to hand.

 

The deadly Dragon

Posted in Peccadillos and Pecados

I am two-thirds through my degree, but the course is starting to do my head in. I sit in the Union bar, the fire provides warmth, its flickering light illuminating the gloom of my thoughts. Do I really want to be a Social Worker?

There are two empty schooner glasses on the table beside me, I am working on the third as my mind continues to wrestle with the realisation that I am pursuing the wrong career path!  Why on earth do I think listening to other people’s problems, offering a sounding board, a reflective space is for me? I have enough demons running through my own system without loading extra baggage!

Despite enthusiasm, and promises made in the dead of night to walk a new, redemptive road, I fall off my perch regularly. Two years wasted, and I am also now the owner of a significant HECS debt.

My entertainment, my escapes have broadened somewhat from my earlier dalliance with weed. I now have a serious engagement with ‘the dragon.’

It is easily found, in the right quarter. It’s where I meet Sheila, a final year Med student and we quickly become companions: bonded journeymen. When the Student Allowance hits my account, I have the wherewithal to buy us a snorted entre’, and a few hours later, an injected piece de resistance. We fly to exotic destinations, places where life’s worries and cares are just a breeze. Long-sleeved shirts conveniently cover our travail.

Sheila finishes her basic medical studies, an Internship at St Vinnies follows. Her script-pad provides a wonderfully handy accoutrement.  But she gets sprung early in her placement and is now receiving rehab servicing at Long Bay. That’s an absolute bugger, as treats become just that much harder to score!

Despite my self-assurance, my studies slip. My feelings about the course harden: I skip classes, a new crowd gathers in the dark recesses of my days. I still occasionally catch the bus to Uni; at the back of the Union is a good place to score.

A couple from the Salvos find me: in amongst the refuse skips off Victoria Street. Several of the staff at St Vinnies remember Sheila. One of the nurses tells me she visits Sheila every other month: she is clean and uses her time to study for a Social Work qualification.

I ease my withdrawal with naloxone, pampered but after three weeks, I discharge myself. I walk with high intentions into the bright sunshine and score a kip with Mum and Dad for a few weeks. I even start to attend lectures again.

But it’s not long before the uppity lecturers start to climb my nostrils again: how on earth would they know what the people on the streets need? Listen, show compassion, offer advice, provide advocacy: yarda, yarda, yarda.

I tell Mum I have an offer of a shared flat. I meet Tom, Gary and Felix at the back of the Union. We score, and share a couple of preliminary hits.

Beating the Dragon

Posted in Peccadillos and Pecados

I have one semester left for my doctorate, and then the hard slog of the Internship starts.  Both Mum and Dad were here before me, it’s a natural fit. They anticipate me joining their practice. To be honest I have never considered any other career options.

Uni hasn’t been too taxing; a lot of friends on the same medical course, great parties, camping trips, a few special mates.  There has been a bit of weed shared around, several monumental hangovers – I so like that sparkling tipple. But yes, at twenty-five, I am looking forward to settling into the hard grind of the next couple of years.

I have accepted an Internship at St Vincent’s Hospital and my Paddington flat will mean I can cycle to work in the daylight, or easily Uber home after a night shift.  Things look to be working out.

I meet a cool guy at the Union during the last few months. We click – Luca’s almost finished his Social Work, although he sometimes confides that he is unsure if his degree is the right fit. We party hard, a lot of laughs: we snorted coke together, my first.

St Vinnies is demanding, more than expected. The occasional double shifts are exhausting; fifteen hours straight and then a daytime, fitful sleep. Luca, and the coke help me relax, some rest before the next shift. My enthusiasm is being sorely tested.

I cop a bollocking from the Director of Nursing after I blow a shift; she isn’t interested in my explanation of the four double shifts, and I don’t tell her about the South Coast party!  What a crowd.  Luca had a surprise and thinking back, I met the Devil that weekend. The Dragon, Skag, Smack, China White – a syringe by any other name -could be so sweet!

Funds are sometimes strained: I have the idea of using my script pad. It is mine; nobody will ever know. It takes five scripts for the cops to arrive.

I am now a resident at Long Bay, for a stretch of reformation. No more treats, although they do give me Naloxone, to handle the withdrawals.

But Long Bay is my saviour. Six months in: I’m clean and there’s lots of time to consider the road I am on. Mum comes in every couple of weeks. The early tears are way behind us, we talk of the future. It will not be Medicine; I’ve burnt that bridge, but she is talking of Practice Manager, as an interim, when I get out next year.

One of my mates from St Vinnies catches the bus and pops in every couple of months. She is always full of the latest doings; she confides that the Salvos brought Luca in. He was in for a few weeks, before self-discharging. He died a few weeks later – a bad batch of something!

The bloody Dragon. I still have lots of time to contemplate my relationship with that terror, to harden my resolves, my defences. I’m ready!

Not a life-changing event.

Posted in Childhood Memories

Our youngest grandson started school yesterday. He was as excited as a coiled spring; keyed up for weeks, egged on by his much older six-and-a-half-year-old brother. I spoke to the debutante on the phone last night and he was tumbling over himself, telling me about drawing a huge lion, and the teacher telling the class about dinosaurs. He mentioned his surprise of not having Olivia, Trent and Becky in the class. They were not even at the school!

My mind started to spin back to my own introduction to primary school, entry into the ‘Bubs at the Rosebud Primary. I have vivid memories, the large sandpit, the shaded playground and my dawning realisation over the first couple of days that I was not going to use plasticine in class. With absolute clarity, I recall my disappointment, and my belief that the squishy balls were just delayed, they would be offered tomorrow, or the next day, surely.

That was 70 years ago. I sit on the couch as emotions swirl, I realise that my disappointment, all those years ago is still within, remembered as a visceral milestone of that transition. I wonder what a ‘shrink might make of this!

At kinder the individual, coloured sticks had long ago melded into a uniformly dark grey splodge, but nobody seemed to mind. I kept up a lively chatter as I rolled, cut, pressed and constructed, sometimes with John and Jane helping, other times, just by myself.  The adventures on offer were fabulous: Mum was told that I was sometimes even reluctant to leave the tables for morning cake and juice.

Kinder ended with the arrival of hot sunny days, daily trips down to the nearby beach, occasional ice cream treats, my elder brother and sister supervising my sandcastle constructions, sometimes joining in. That summer went on forever.

There was mention of going to the big school ‘Next Year’, but the import of that milestone was mostly buried by the sandcastles, and the delicately placed shell and seaweed ornamentation. Mum and I went to town on the bus and I was kitted out with Clarkes’ shoes, a couple of pairs of shorts, new shirts and socks. We lunched at the Coles cafeteria and I remember ice cream with strawberry topping. That cafeteria – such a highlight!

But the big day arrived. I was at school. We had a story and we were each asked to talk about our holiday activities. There was drawing, we even had an early afternoon nap, but there was no plasticine?  I asked the other kids. They didn’t know. I asked my big brother – he told me they didn’t do it in the big school.

I never forgot the plasticine, and despite frequent consideration, was never able to adequately explain that lingering memory. It just remains as a little bump, an insignificant ‘significance’.

Memories exist, but I have managed to avoid potential plasticine-linked trauma, albeit with the memory of plasticine still occasionally surfacing!

That’s not a fish

Posted in The North

We are sitting in the boat for maybe 15 minutes, the sandflies are making life miserable, my brother fiddles with the bloody outboard. Why on earth have I agreed to this fishing expedition? I have lots of gardening I could be doing.

It is late October, the ‘Build-Up’, that notorious local, pre-Monsoon weather phenomena is upon us. It delivers hot, humid conditions, spectacular electrical storms, sleepless nights and brittle tempers. But the fish love it, and the fishermen trade some discomfort for promised rewards.

John has the cowling off the motor, has removed the spark plug and sprayed something into the motor. He is tiring fast as he repeatedly pulls the starter chord – veroompah, veroompah, veroompah. The outboard eventually coughs, throws a smoky cloud, awakens, and our fishing expedition begins!

He replaces the cover, dials back the throttle and I untie our umbilical from the mangroves. There is a slight breeze that dispatches a few thousand biting insects.

Open water – Shoal Bay, just east of Darwin, the sun rapidly making headway against last night’s cooling reprieve. I am told that the ebb tide provides ideal conditions for landing Barramundi, Threadfin salmon, Mangrove jack and Spanish mackerel.

We are heading down to The Rock, an outlier on the edge of the Bay. It has an enviable reputation among the fraternity for its Barra, Salmon and Mackerel.

We throttle back, the motor just ticking over as we start to troll. 30 meters of line, an orangey-blue lure moving provocatively at the end of each line, and we turn and repeat our pass of the outlier. Nothing, although John has a 2nd line that he is flicking from the side of the boat. He lands a couple of Mangrove jacks.

On our third pass my line hooks up, a squeal as the line plays out, a splash, I apply the reel’s brake, another large splash. I am excited as I pull in a smallish, eight kilo Barra.

We turn and make another pass as I reset my line. John hooks up, I take over the controls as he starts to battle a monster. The engine is in neutral: there is a battle royal playing out at the end of his line. Ten minutes of bi-play: frantic line retrieval, line whirring frenetically out, more retrieval – repetitive antics from both participants. Finally, his line breaks; there is swearing, then silence, before he proffers a considered analysis of what just happened.

I am looking over the gunnels, towards the Rock. There is a swirling eddy, splashing, a coil of something large out above the water, writhing and then a length of a long snakelike body, maybe a foot in diameter. There is a head, a wide gaping maw, eyes staring accusingly back at me.

Then nothing; the wash from its indignation settles back into the gentle, unbroken surface of the Bay. I turn to confirm the sighting with John. His eyes are down, focusing on retying a new lure.

“Did you see that?”

“What?”

“I wonder!”

The Canton Lead

Posted in History

Two men and a woman had me pinned to the ground. The woman had a pair of shears. She roughly turned my head and cut off my queue, holding it aloft, a growl of triumph as she brandished my hair for the mob. I struggled, a leg free, finding a groin, hearing a grunt, and I was up and running.

The mostly European ‘gweilo’ were fiery drunk, and baying for blood, as they came for us at the mine. Chants of “slanty chinks”, “murderous chinamen” “poxed coolies” could be heard as the mob came up the hill, picks and shovels shouldered to do battle. There were fifty or sixty, men and women in the chanting mass – we were five, all family, and I was just taking my place at our workings, to relieve my cousin Zhang Wei.

As I rushed to the mine, I saw my younger brother, Junjie Xi fall to the ground, blood pouring from his head with two men, picks held high, about to strike. Bo Wei, my elder cousin was surrounded by a group wielding shovels, and I saw him take a cut to the side of his head! As the evening closed in, Hell was upon us.

A snarling, bearded man saw me, yelling to alert the mob as I ran. I ran, and I ran, up and over the hill, down the other side, into a gully. I found a hollow log. My pursuers, initially rampaging, fell behind as I ran. I remained in that log until daybreak.

I tentatively inched out, I could smell smoke but all was quiet, save for a kookaburra laughing, somewhere in the distance! I couldn’t see the humour, and cursed the silly bird!

I buried three souls that morning! There was no way to ease their journey into the ‘afterlife’, no joss or incense to burn, just my humiliation, anger, tears and frustrations. Why had we come to this new country, this Tsin Chin Shan?

I remembered the trouble at home, the opium dens, the corruption back in our village in Sze Yup and my parents urging us boys to pursue the fabulous wealth being found in California. The lure of the yellow metal. It would mean eternal security for our families beside the beautiful Pearl River.

We boarded the ship to America, but it meant three years of hard toil, few rewards, abuse and regular discrimination against our families. We heard the stories that gold could be picked up off the ground in Australia. Surely it would be better than here?

My cousins and I had a letter written to our Shanghai sponsor, seeking an agreement to extend our indenture and provide passage to Ballarat. It took a few months but we were once again embarked, another ten weeks of seasick wallowing, and finally off the schooner for the long walk to the Ballarat field.

We joined forces with several other groups from the boat and collectively hired a guide for the five-week, overland walk. We had avoided the Victorian colonial tax by landing in South Australia, at Robe, but we all agreed that it might have been better to have paid the hefty £10s, rather than the long hot days, tramping to ‘Baallalat’.

Our guide was a drunken lout, driving a bullock dray loaded with supplies for the growing settlements along South Australia’s coast. He took our money and disappeared on the third night out from Robe. Other spivs were on the track, ever ready to take our few resources. We knew there was safety in numbers and drew comfort from the extra family groupings, particularly at night when we shared guard duties, campfire stories and homeland reminiscences.

It was a gruelling walk; at times a narrow path, enabling just a single file. When spirits flagged, Bo Wei started to chant ‘Baallalat, Baallalat, Baallalat’, maintaining a rhythmic chant that we all took up. I can only imagine the strange picture we must have presented to those large hopping animals we occasionally saw.

We had been on the track for two weeks, each with our worldly positions in the two baskets balancing across our shouldered, bamboo pole. The head of another family group, Zhang Yong had bought a precious wooden wheelbarrow from California. We enviously noted the extra provisions he was able to carry.

The dry hot summer made the trek that much more tortuous. Water and food were precious commodities and there was relief when an old black man showed us a small spring, just off the track. Somebody had already cut limestone blocks and started to line the spring. We took two days off our trek, cutting and fitting three more limestone blocks into the well’s sides.

Food was a constant issue. We spent a lot of our savings on rice at the store in Robe, but we supplemented supplies with grasses and any berries we found. We had unsuccessfully chased the hopping animal, drooling over the possible meat. Zhang found some fungi and cooked them up. He died in agony two days later, and I fought several contenders and took over his wheelbarrow.

We arrived at the small settlement of Penola. Several Chinese families had already given up on the lure of the yellow metal, settling and establishing market gardens on the rich, grassy plains. We were able to revictual ourselves, picking up advice from the storekeeper, Wang Wei, about the onward journey.

There were strange nighttime cries, maybe just birds, but eerie, ghost-like. We had heard stories of hostile natives, and bushrangers. Their attacks on unwary travellers meant we slept fitfully, and someone was always awake and alert.

We approached a mountain range and the pathway divided, one track going to the northeast, the other, southeast. We went north, spending a few days in the cool bushland gullies of the ranges.

Our party walked around the mountains. We came upon another smaller series of hills and made camp. Bo had been to the toilet and came running back into our camp excitedly waving a small lump of rock. He pointed, we gathered and saw the yellow flecks. Was it gold? Bo assured us it was, and the decision was made to abandon our Ballarat quest; temporarily. We jokingly called our find Gwóngdūng Kwongmak – the Canton Lead. The name stuck.

Over the next few days, we scratched around in the creeks. Other parties joined us – the excited chatter saw upwards of two hundred men on the creeks within the week. Flecks, small nuggets, the hills echoed with the ring of picks, axes, scraping shovels and the creeks quickly turning into muddy brown sluices. A thousand buffalo couldn’t have turned over the hillsides quicker than our enthusiasm. Gold, gold, gold.  Our excitement drove us hard.

News of our find spread quickly and within two weeks we were outnumbered by the ‘gweilo’: colonials, Americans, Italians, Irish, British, and Germans. At first, they were quite friendly, but as their numbers increased, and the alluvial gold became harder to find, frustrations and tensions grew.

They came at sunset. From the store, from their hearths and tents, armed with picks, shovels, sticks and bloodlust. I escaped over the hill as they overpowered our family camp.

I returned the next morning. Our camp had been ransacked; tents burnt, our few possessions strewn or missing, and the vegetable garden trampled. The only positive was that they never found our yellow metal’s hiding place. We had an old tobacco tin and every evening we deposited our finds into the tin before returning it to the wire suspended into our toilet trench.

So much for the lucky future, anticipated those three years ago as we left Shanghai.  I sat, unsure of my next move. Would the mob return?

My mind ranged back over the years since I left the Pearl River; the voyage to California, my outstanding debts, the decision to extend the indenture and head to the riches of Ballarat, the eventual landing in Robe, the five-week overland trek, Bo’s discovery of the nugget, final success, then the ambush.

With nobody to share the gold, I made my way to Ballarat. I found my countrymen, a little work, even a little more gold, but I was humiliated, debt-ridden, and without the anticipated golden future for myself or the family back in Sze Yup.

I sent our collected gold ore home to my parents. I arranged to have a letter written that explained what had befallen us at the Canton Lead, asking that they pray for the departed, and share the meagre offerings across the family.

I never saw the Pearl River again! I settled on the banks of a small creek below the Canton Lead and started a vegetable garden. I built a small shack and store, I learnt a little English, and eventually married a local girl. Kids arrived, five sons and two daughters. There was a steady demand for our goods, and we prospered. Canton Lead was renamed, at first to Mount Ararat, then shortened to Ararat.

Background:

This story relates to the Ararat gold rush, beginning in 1857 with the chance discovery of alluvial gold by a family of Chinese diggers, enroute from South Australia’s Robe to the Ballarat diggings. As happened elsewhere, discrimination, jealousies and Chinese successes led to deadly, civil unrest at Canton Lead, resulting in at least three murders.  Commercial gold mining continued in the area up until the outbreak of WW1. Ararat today celebrates its history as the only Australian city founded by the Chinese.

 

Balang’s instruction

Posted in The North

This is Dungbon country, about 80 kilometres south of Maningrida, Central Arnhem land. I am sitting with my ngadjadj. You call him my mother’s brother, my uncle. We are on a ledge; high and shaded, a commanding position with the soft early morning light casting deep shadows across the valley below. Over the past few weeks, we have been here often, always early, surrounded by the detritus of a thousand generations of stone tool makers. This quarry, a resource that underpins so much of our lives, will one day be my responsibility, but for the moment, it’s my classroom. Lessons here will ensure my abilities as a hunter, as a provider.

Bangardi is teaching me the essential skills of knapping, making ‘gadarda’, or spearheads, scrappers and knives from the finely-grained orange chert found across our country. I sense some frustrations at this morning’s efforts. “Balang, not like that. You’ve got to keep your thumbs and fingers clear, bring your hammer down confidently, sharply across the top, flat surface.”

I am flaking chips, but they are small: sharp but useless as spearheads. Bangardi took the paperbark-wrapped hammer from my hand and executes a short, sharp blow that flakes a long sliver of stone, jagged, but razor sharp!

He admits that his knapping was not always so precise; his own ngadjadi spent months with him on this same ledge, honing his skills, teaching him to find the right block of stone, one with a receding underside that would flake satisfactorily. He relates being taught how to select the right hammer from the creek below, refining his posture to deliver the strike, and about the necessary songs that will ensure satisfactory protocols are observed.

Uncle also explains why the hammer needs the paperbark wrapping. He describes how the bark helps distribute the blow evenly, but also how it deadens the echoes from within the stone. Mimih spirits live in the caves and nearby rocks. It is important not to disturb them.

Before the sun sends the animals back into their shady daytime refuges, he picks up two spears, and his woomera, and we leave the ledge. This morning’s knapping lessons are over; another class is about to begin. “So don’t forget, Balang. Always look for the stone with an overhang. Practise getting it right, it will ensure success!”

We quietly follow the creek upstream. A mob of wallabies graze on the dewy grass tufts, and with a practised arm, Bangardi raises and dispatches his spear with deadly accuracy. One of the animals falls, twitching momentarily, and a quick blow to its head finishes the hunt.

The long sinews are drawn from the animal’s hind legs, coiled and placed into his dilly bag looped off his shoulder. I know he will use the cords, fixed with spinifex resin, to adhere a spearhead to a long, straight haft, if I ever manage to produce a suitable flake!

The deep blue, early morning sky is washing out as we gather dry grass, light it and singe off the animal’s fur. We snack on its sweetmeats before making our way back home.

 

Skinning the cat

Posted in Domestics

I’m not going to let this develop into a row, but … I mean, we’ve taken the long drive down to her place every year since the kids were little. I know Margaret’s getting on, but she talks incessantly and blathers about the doings of her neighbours and distant relatives: I’ve never met most of them! And the bloody football. Who cares if her team won or lost last season? No; not this year. This is going to be our beachside Christmas!

I need pre-emptive strategies. Should I book a beachside Airbnb now, claiming I forgot about Margaret’s Christmas expectations? Would that wash? Probably not, given the previous twelve-year protocols.

The kids need to be onside? They have each privately complained to me about Nanna, her hugs and kisses, her overpowering lavender whiff, her predictable menus, the repetitive quips, and the tiny, boring backyard!

Yes: this’ll work. I will introduce some innocent, after-school kitchen chatter about the upcoming Christmas holidays, I’ll remind everyone of the fun during previous visits to Nanna’s! I’ll need a segway at the dinner table to get the discussion going. I’ll give it a whirl over the next few days!

I need to introduce alternative Christmas ideas. I am pretty sure Betsy’s Mum says that they book a beachside cabin every year. And Damian’s Mum talks about the surfing lessons he took last summer.

Righto. I don’t want to ‘overcook the pudding’ but I reckon these inputs will deliver the beachside. Maybe I can suggest Charlie and I drive down to see Margaret the weekend after next. I can arrange sleepovers for the kids. Yep, and it’ll give Charlie and me a break.

Next Friday night, over dinner, the chatter starts with the declaration “Mum is suggesting we don’t go to Nanna’s for…”. The icy, silent treatment dampens the weekend mood.

Things well and truly go ‘south’ when Charlie gets a call from his sister suggesting Mum is starting to display signs of dementia. The prospect of moving out of the family home is the end of independent living. Charlie and his sister talk for an hour or so. Our impending visit is locked in, and timely!

We find her in good spirits. She tells us about the neighbour’s ginger cat, caught in the drain; and her constipation! We help her with the crossword and enjoy chicken salad sandwiches. I notice occasional conversational lapses, the right word proving elusive, but this is hardly dementia. We all do it, from time to time!

About a week after our trip, we’re in the snug, whiskeys in hand. The kids are in the lounge watching TV. Charlie says “Ya know, I reckon that idea the kids were talking about, the beach Christmas, is a great idea. Why don’t I book us a cottage, maybe at Port Arlington, Barwon Heads or somewhere?”

“But what about your Mum? She’ll be expecting us for Christmas.”

“I reckon Sis can bring her down for a couple of days.”

I’m innocent, Your Honour!

A contracted trip

Posted in Imagined

It’s six in the evening and a westward sky has that slightly indefinable band of Paines Grey washing up against the burnished, retreating sun. At thirty-eight thousand feet, I stare out at the nothingness, the steady, low-pitched hum of engines felt, maybe just imagined, comfortably reassuring, somewhere behind.

The flight is interminable, a generous scotch, over ice, already in hand. I see the staff in the galley preparing dinner. I have the roast beef on order, Bearnaise sauce, chat potatoes and a green salad on the side. There are fresh berries over a delicate, coffee-based gelato, following. On medical advice, I will have just the one glass of red, but it will be the best that the house can offer. On the flight up to London last month, they had a wonderful Hill of Grace Syrah, I was hoping for another drop – 1998 was such a wonderful year! But on this Emirates flight, I have to doubt such offerings.

Through the window, never-ending emptiness, I can feel the silence. I note icy cold beads of moisture trapped between the double glazing are battling existence; the exterior hostility and the comparative ambience of the cabin. I idly wonder how the moisture gets into the cavity.

Another assignment. This time, two targets; the first in Muscat, then up the Gulf to Dubai. Two tobacco traders, both in breach of contracts, both to be reminded of Australian commitments, both to be forcefully told of the cost associated with delivery failures! I am acutely aware of the on-ground turf wars, following Border Force’s interception of our most recent consignments: but that is not my concern. I am just the Contract Enforcer!

I recall the cynical banter from the family – accusations of me; the lush, on the company purse, drifting around the globe wining and dining. I try unsuccessfully to paint a judicious slice of my international routines; the endless, lonely hotel suites, living out of a suitcase, the late-night encounters. I think they saw my life as some sort of permanent junket – if only they knew.

This trip should only take a couple of weeks. On arrival, I will secure a ‘piece’, packed with the essential silencer and ammunition. It’s prearranged but always just a little risky, I’m ever alert for possible slipups. Then the stakeout, the last-minute refinements to maximise the educational outcomes and my all-important exit strategies.

I like using the anonymity of bicycles for my getaway, although in some circumstances tuk-tuks or rickshaws also give me that capacity to disappear into a crowd. In the UAE, I think a small motorbike will do the trick.

I can see reflective silver slivers out of my window: other planes, pods of travellers, other destinations, their sleekness reflecting the last of the sunset, their cometlike vapours, trailing. There is a change in background noise, the engines are slowing—thirty minutes to arrival.

The pointy end of this assignment is drawing nigh. I briefly review my operational imperatives. I smile; yep, all my ducks are aligned!

A policy wonk’s morning

Posted in Politics

You sense that today will be the start of something different. The signs look good – no burnt toast, your new coffee beans deliver a delicious complexity, and your decision to iron your underpants and shirt last night means arrival at the bus station just as your bus arrives. Your favourite upstairs seat is vacant! Can it get much better? You settle, hat and brolly resting on the vacant seat.

My gosh, things are all falling into place wonderfully. Your newspaper has a full report of your team’s success last night, they won by a point, on the siren! The front page confirms the Government’s decision to accept your Cabinet Briefing Paper. You recommended ditching those ridiculous nuclear submarines. They also agree with your recommendations about stronger resourcing of cyber-security and greater emphasis on diplomatic discourse!

The bus winds through suburbia as you surreptitiously peel and eat your breakfast banana. You imagine a parallel scenario within the tree-lined streets, a myriad families at their breakfast tables, some childish squabbles, but school departure schedules on track.

Your mood responds to the dappled sunshine coming through the trees, you sense a minty freshness in the air as you ponder the day ahead. Sitting, gently jiggled in your elevated seat, you’re distracted momentarily by the number of rooftop solar installations. Could you engineer some federal assistance against the hugely expensive battery storage packs? You note the yellow-topped wheelie bins lining the curbs, sentinel to their smaller, red-topped companions. A moment’s panic: did you remember to put your bin out this morning? Of course!

The bus pulls in. Just a five-minute walk to the revolving door, through Security – “Morning George”, into the lift and your twenty-six-second ride to the thirtieth floor. Another coffee? Why not as you greet colleagues and close your office door.

You prepare to pick up from yesterday. Your laptop’s startup throws a duck-egg blue complexion around the walls. As programs load, your mind is briefly drawn to the window, to the miles of leafy enclaves running out to the distant mountain range. Roofs are mostly hidden; the trees and general greenery dominate the vista. You are keenly aware that much of your policy work will impact the residents inside those homes and you are beholden to political masters to ensure nationally-protective securities are in place, are effective and judiciously legitimate.

But the rigours attaching to yesterday’s challenge reengage your focus. You sense success. The weeks of tangled cogitations and considerations, Pythonesque in their defying complexities are nearing resolution; solutions identified, now merely needing execution.

A sharp knock on the door. It opens. Your PA asks “Have you heard the news? Both of the candidates have been ‘taken out’. Separate events, but the Signals Directorate think they’re connected.” She senses your overriding irritation at the interruption and withdraws.

For a moment, you ponder the news. A smile acknowledges that things can only get better from here. You pick up the secured mobile “Well done, guys!” You return to the Budget Estimates.

Screentime

Posted in Peccadillos and Pecados

Why do I venture out on such a miserable, Melbourne winter’s day? The simple truth is that I miss the smells, the hubbub and the clamour of the South Melbourne market. It’s been three years since I moved away, but I still journey to Coventry Street when possible.

My tram interchange means a brief exposure to the cold winds of Collins Street. Some early 20th century wit describes these drafts as the “laziest winds in the world, their habit of blowing straight through you, not around…” and so it seems on this Wednesday. My jumper, puffer jacket and beanie are just no match.

Fellow travellers, eyes ever downcast, screen lights reflecting individual pockets of intimacy. I seek shelter in the lee of others more directly exposed to the weather. Rural folk would no doubt recognise this ovine, defensive positioning, as we wait, coldly, at the tram stop.

The 234 tram glides quietly to the stop: it’s one of those new ones that move gently along the streets, engineered without the acoustics of yore – the clangs, screeches and bells so intrinsically linked to the Melbourne tramways. My shopping trolley, and I, muscle aboard.

Everyone’s glued to their telephones, flicking up and down, some with white earplugs, further distancing themselves from social intercourse. The tram jiggles along, but nary a face lifts off their screens. I consider using my leather to join the network. What the heck, I take off my shoe, punch the sole viciously and ask to speak to the operator. Still no reaction. I speak louder. “Hello, is anybody there?” I see a singular face lift briefly, a quizzical expression before it drops down screenward.

At the market I beeline towards the fish shop, I am tossing up between Tuna and Flathead. I’ve heard some tuna fisheries have a big impact on dolphins, so I am leaning towards the flathead. I buy baby Brussel sprouts; they will complement the fish wonderfully. A cauliflower, carrots, olive oil, freshly roasted St Ali beans and a 12-pack of toilet paper. Despite medical advice, I am also budgeting a few shekels at the Fromagerie. They usually have a wonderfully rich Limburger and a few weeks ago they even had the Vieux Boulogne, that impossibly smelly, beer-washed northern French offering.

I am meeting Geraldine at Clement’s for coffee. She and I have both bought mobile machines and U3A classes are teaching us about texting, photography, and being on the alert for scalpers. She will send me a note from her telephone when her shopping’s complete.

I am making my way across to the café. I realise I have forgotten potatoes and detour to buy kipflers, Spanish onions, avocados and some mandarins.

OK. I am now ready for a cappuccino! I see Geraldine on the corner, head down, focussing on what must be her new telephone. She is punching wildly at the keyboard. She looks up, I wave and she abandons her device. “Bloody telephone” is her only greeting.

We enjoy croissants, coffee and camaraderie.

An old letter resurfaces

Posted in History

Old books are as good as old friends, and second-hand bookshops are my go-to when the weather is lousy. I am meeting friends in Castlemaine; I’m very early. Yet again I pass that bookshop in Campbell’s Creek, the one I have been passing for years, always promising to pop in, one day. Today’s the day.

The hoarding outside advises there are 100,000 volumes inside, but the towering shelves, floor to ceiling, room upon room suggests that estimate is outdated. As I enter, the musty, delicious old-book smell envelopes me.

The usual stash of romance, thrillers, fantasy and historical novels fill the front rooms. I wander deeper, finding a small room dedicated to Australiana.

My neck is cricked badly after an hour of reading spines, moving through Astley; Bolderwood; Carey; Clarke; Flannery; Franklin, Garner; Grenfell; Stead, Tsiolkas; White; Winton, Wright. So many wonderful authors. I return to a battered, almost illegible leather-bound copy of Bolderwood’s Robbery under Arms!

I draw it out gingerly and open the flyleaf. ‘Second printing 1889’. The inscription reads ‘3rd August 1906 Alfred, Happy 50th Birthday, regards, Toby’. There is a pencilled price of $55 – that’s a steal. I take my prize to the counter.

I find the book a few days later. It has slipped off and under the car seat. I settle into my study, a small snifter of scotch at my elbow, and explore my latest purchase. A couple of old, browned pages float to the floor. My jaw drops as I take in the significance of the document in my hand. The Alfred and Toby on the flyleaf reference are identified!

On Australian High Court letterhead, the writer is identified as the former Prime Minister, Edmund Barton, (Toby), writing in a flourishing copperplate to his long-time friend and ally, the current Prime Minister, Alfred Deakin. Enthralled to be privy to this personal exchange, I read:

“Dear Fred,
50 years under your belt! My heartiest birthday wishes, trusting that the attached tome may entertain and while away possible spare hours, maybe on that regular, but quite tiresome train journey back to Ballarat.

I want to thank you for your tactical leadership as we move towards this referendum. The capacity to have members of both the Senate and the House elected at the same time will provide significant financial gains for the Commonwealth. Linking the plebiscite to the General Election should also auger well for your continued leadership. Well done, and I am sure you are set for a resounding endorsement.

Thinking back over the years, I am constantly reminded of your significant input into this new Federation. I am aware of the many hundreds of hours you were away from family and friends as you crisscrossed the country cajoling the colonies towards our proposed unification. The work you put into our founding documents, securing the necessary legislative capacities; and the tactical work at Westminster to ensure our charter was successfully legislated. While we missed securing the New Zealanders, you brought those pesky Sandgropers into the fold. Again, and in particular, the successful passage of the Immigration Restriction Bill wouldn’t have happened without your judicious and timely oversight.

So many issues delicately handled, I think your legacy will long be sung in the parliamentary corridors.

Again, the very happiest birthday wishes.

Sincerely
‘Toby’
Justice Edmund Barton,
High Court of Australia
3rd August, 1906”

The north wind

Posted in Domestics

Summer heat, the bedroom air conditioning system is going flat out against the Bureau’s advice that it is unlikely to drop below 25 degrees overnight. At 8 pm it’s still 35. The north wind is bringing Central Australia to town. Even the vegetable patch is withdrawn, wilting to preserve some hydration.

Our breeding program is also under severe threat, with sprinklers constantly misting their enclosures, but I fear the girls might abandon their egg production. That would put us back nearly six months! We have Pet Shop contracts that are due to be delivered in the next couple of months.

We are stretched after three days of constant, howling winds. Broken sleep, even with the AC; dry, croaky throats, dust everywhere, and the air – crackly, almost electric. Tempers are short. I can’t remember a wind like this. Julie sits inside, nursing a bottomless glass of Chardonnay.

Was this climate change? No doubt industry and the pollies would be prevaricating; splitting hairs on the explanation first espoused by that ‘unflushable’ man the populace elected back in the 90’s. “This is just a passing faze! Nothing to do with human intervention.”

I’ve been running around like a headless chook. The water in the breeding ponds must be held below 30, proving to be the issue. The wind’s evaporative greed means the misters are on constantly, but are no match for these conditions.

Why hadn’t we enclosed the shed properly, and installed the air conditioner we’d discussed last year? I argued for the installation but Julie got her way and the bedroom now has a reverse cycle split system.

Things are going pear-shaped, rapidly unless; unless … to be honest, I was running out of ideas! The girls were starting to voice their discomfort, and the blokes were certainly not holding back: their ruckus filling the shed, a deafening crescendo long into the evening. But their calls are changing, the pitch more constrained, choked, a distressed growl.

I voice my fears with Julie over dinner and am quite surprised at her lack of empathetic concern. “You give them more attention than you do me”, she bitterly throws across the table. “Come on”, I counter, “surely you don’t mean that.” “I certainly do. I am starting to wonder why on earth I moved in!”

We had been together for almost two years, since that chance meeting at the Show. I thought she was as keen as me, but as I reflect back on the intervening months, I realise her program engagement has only ever been begrudging. She increasingly retreats into that damned green bottle!

The shed is dangerously overheating. I surmise most of the stock won’t survive another night of this! I need to cut my losses.

I collect my best breeders into a small, portable container and retreat into the air-conditioned bedroom.

Julie packs her bags, throwing the keys on the table before slamming the front door.

My Pobblebonk frogs and I breathe a little easier!

Claude and I

Posted in Animals

It’s strange how quickly some relationships develop. Claude and I had only met about three weeks ago. He was scurrying across the workshop, carrying some edible titbits: he later explained – the ‘elevenses’ for the crew. And me? Well I was a recent transferee from another part of the factory, an involuntary refugee, moved as part of a reorganisation of the workshop floor.

But we quickly bonded, finding common ground in our love of flying, our svelte, dark uniforms that we wore ‘on the wing’, meal preferences and humour. We quickly realised that we were also neighbours, living only a few crevices apart. How had we never crossed paths before?

We lived in the wonderfully aromatic darkness of the workshop’s cellar, with plenty of space to fulfill an adventurous existence. Above us, when the light was strong, the Big Ones trod; backwards and forwards, their never-ending movements raining dusty motes down across our space. We didn’t mind, as the vibrations often brought down edible scrapes.

Our style of humour, some might say ‘gutter-humour’ brought both of us near to tears. A whispered scenario, usually coming from Claude’s over-active imagination, would see us corralled in some dark corner, hushed discussions, giggling and a final agreement on an approach to our latest foray. It sometimes involved interaction with those above –these were far more dangerous escapades. But most times, we just did things to annoy our brethren.

There was a popular light-time resting hole that many of the crew liked to use. Claude, again, came up with a plan. Above the entrance to the space was a paper box. He and I secretly worked on that box for several days, nibbling and excavating one side of the box. We unbalanced it, and while the crew were at rest, we managed to send the box down across the entrance, trapping our colleagues. We thought it a hilarious joke, while angry, hungry and thirsty friends finally chewed their way out at the end of the dark time.

There was this huge jar of sweet sticky stuff, sometimes left open on the counter at the back of the crib room above. In the quiet of the night, Claude and I would crawl through the cracks in the floor above, then launch ourselves up and onto that jar. Care was needed to avoid the semi-hard blobs on the neck of the container – Claude once got his wings caught on the jar’s neck and spent an uncomfortable and anxious night attached. By nibbling the edges of the sticky stuff, I was eventually able to free him, just as the morning light arrived.

Another upstairs foray, again heading for the jar. This time our timing was bad. We had just launched ourselves when a Big One started yelling, a wad of paper swatted furiously. A lucky blow caught Claude and knocked him for a six. As I flew into the darkness, I had a fleeting glimpse of Claude impaled, needled and the Big One heard to curse “Bloody cockroaches.”

A gardening soliloquy

Posted in Family

John corners me as I come into the kitchen this morning. “Here’s your long black. Are you OK if we revisit the garden redevelopment ideas?” This was the third time he raised it this week, and to be honest, his OCD was starting to wear thin!

We were planning a vegetable patch, but his military approach to the task had me wondering about Aldi’s vegetable aisles. His ideas run expansively over several pages and include:

• Soil analysis and additives, to counter acid or alkaline soils;
• the location for a three-bin compost facility;
• fencing to keep cats, blackbirds and possibly invading Tasmanian Tigers out;
• drainage considerations and the possibility of raised beds, maybe self-watering wicking beds;
• water access – consider the tap near the back verandah, and
• morning shade from nearby trees – to prune heavily, or remove?

And he was still on page one! John was warming to his subject: I note telltale spittle at the corners of his mouth and his excitable page fiddling. “Don’t just stand there. What do you think of the plans, so far?”

He overlooks the imposition of his non-stop blather of the past fifteen minutes. I hesitate, then start to talk about my research into wicking beds. ”Google says we’ll need to ensure that …” but alas, poor me: his soliloquies are set to challenge even Hamlet!

“What about the white cabbage moth? They’re butterflies actually, but nonetheless, they’ll ravage our brassicas. Sweet corn will be a treat in late summer – fresh cobs, drizzled with butter, rock salt and ground pepper. Mum used to grow acres of the stuff. Will we have enough room to put onions in? We use so many of them. Successive plantings will be the go. What about a green manure crop for soil conditioning?”

I calculate his eye is focussing about halfway down page two, and he is now onto Bunnings and a wicking bed shopping list. “2400mm x 200mm x 50mm sleepers: we’ll need nine for each bed. Bunnings have them for $19 each. Bugle batons, 100mm and 75mm, about thirty of each. They also sell the plastic liners and the plumbing fittings.”

I drift back into the kitchen and turn on the coffee machine. I need another long black. I can hear him mumbling to himself on the verandah. When I reemerge, he is out in the yard and is stepping out potential space for the wicking beds. He has a tape measure, a small hammer and several wooden pegs. “I reckon we will have room for four of the beds. What do you think?”

“Those trees will have to go. It’s eleven, and their shade will be over the beds for at least another hour.”

“Yep, whatever you think’s a fair thing, John!” I take another noisy slurp of my coffee and idly scratch my ear.

“What do you mean by that? I need your input. This is our family’s big project. Me, you and the kids. It will provide them with a life-defining love of gardening.”

Svelte Claude flies

Posted in Animals

How often do you see a sign advertising Cockroach racing? I reread the aging, fly-spotted notice. Half of it is missing but still advises ‘Thoroughbred Cockroach racing … BYO ‘roaches. $1,000 prize pool. If interested, call this numb…’

It is dark, late Autumn and I’m being kicked out of the Empress of India for pissing against the bar. OK, yer, not nice, but in the crowded space, we frontline ‘bar-props’ are loath to vacate for the dunnies. We all do it occasionally, more so as the clock ticks towards six. We no longer think it is controversial or unusual!

Flo’s professionalism barely misses a beat as she plonks six pots down onto the bar in front of Bluey, Billy and Gerry. She glares momentarily at me and then orders me out! I reckon she has seen my telltale arm movements, wrestling with the bloody buttons of my fly!

Tongues click in sympathy as I’m unceremoniously ejected from the warm, fuggy space. “Bugger it”, as I realise I’m goin’ to miss my final couple of pots.

I stumble along Scotchmer Street; not my usual route home. The missus is gonna be surprised to see me home early. The ‘roach racing idea swirls. I could certainly use the cash! I wonder what’s involved in training a cockroach?

I’ve a dodgy prostate: I desperately need another leak. It’s dark and I smile as my bladder drains. I nimbly sidestep the slipstream off the wall and circuitously continue towards our cottage, tucker and bed.

Enormous cockroaches swarm. I’m in the maw of a monster and with a single swipe, it has my entrails strewn across the pavement — the bedside clock’s alarm erupts.

Over breakfast, I’m thinking about that $1,000. The factory crawls with ‘roaches – any stray scuttling sees lethal footwork! I’m wondering about what I do after I catch one, how will I train it?

It’s Saturday morning, with meat, veg and groceries straining the trusty old shopping cart. The café provides our usual tea and scones, and I casually scan the nearby Community notice board. Here it is again: ‘Cockroach Racing Saturday 24th, Flemington, BYO cockroaches. That’s it. I’m in. I’ll have three weeks to whip a winner into shape.

On Monday I snare a beauty – about an inch and a half long, sleek blackness, feelers another inch, at least. If I could find a small saddle I’d have a Melbourne Cup starter. I place ‘Claude’ into an Old Holborn tobacco tin and add a few crumbs. They’re gone when I let him out for a run later on. He has cake for dinner.

Over the next three weeks, he eats regularly, and richly. Leftovers off my plate, snacks from the ice chest, lunch crumbs. He continues to impress, every inch a winner. Svelte condition, I reckon; no excess baggage, muscles toned and ready to fly.

Saturday 24th and we’re at Flemington. I’m pumped. We’re at the Mounting Enclosure, I open his tin and he is away. I never see Claude again!

A mining tale.

Posted in Imagined

Can you imagine a house simply disappearing? One moment it’s there, the next it folds in on itself, like closing one of those kid’s 3D panorama storybooks, concertina-like, and just disappears into a hitherto unknown abyss. Our house slides into an old gold mine!

Thank God we’re all at the supermarket. We turn into our street and confront a phalanx of emergency vehicles: cops; ambos; fire engines; red and blue flashing lights everywhere – the whole nine yards, as they say in the movies! We park and join the crowd, fifty metres back from the large hole that is replacing our house.

We muscle our way through the police cordon and identify ourselves. “Yep, we’re all here, we’ve been to the shops”, I tell the cops. There is an immediate and discernible shift of tempo, a collective relaxation of shoulders. It might’ve been imaginative, but my “Hang on. Has anyone seen Roger” sees those same shoulders stiffen again. “Our dog!”, I explain.

There is a chopper above. A TV camera is in my face and a reporter is insinuating herself into the conversation. “Do you know about the gold mine”, she asks, but before I can answer, follows up with “Who is Roger?” She is shouldered from the posse of Emergency personnel. I hear another question yelled over their shoulders. “Do you have any idea why?”

The ground burps. There is a tearing screech of tortured metal and then a thunderous crescendo as we see our neighbour’s house do a little shimmy, one side slumps, and then the house completes an ever so graceful slide into ‘our’ hole.

That gets everything moving. The next thirty minutes sees the whole street empty. The neighbours desperately collect a few valuables before we end up in the park at the end of the street!

Turns out Roger took off when things went pear-shaped. We reunite at the motel that night.

I reassure the family that everything will be OK. Probably false bravado, but I believe that this madness will somehow resolve itself. Maybe we will wake up!

We stay in the motel for several months. Bureaucratic prevarications are never-ending. We establish that the City Council knows of the old mine’s location. It also establishes that my work to restump the house has had no impact on subsequent events.

Letters arrived in the post advising that last century, the Council took the legal precaution to absolve itself of any possible repercussions from suburban development over the old diggings. They reassure us that they are here to help. Our legal class action confirms the efficacy of their earlier legal precautions.

Our group successfully challenge the insurer’s suggestion that the collapse is an ‘Act of God’, contesting that God never worked in the mine! They settle with a pittance, enough for us to build a Tiny House.

While the rug is effectively pulled from under us, we are survivors. We move to another town, well away from gold mining activity! We don’t reinsure with anybody. Stuff ‘em!

Tracy and I

Posted in History, The North

I’d just about had enough. We were both working on a remote island north of Darwin, but Tracey had taken a few weeks’ leave; “to get her head straight!” She was now home, things were tense, but there were moments of rekindled joy, intimacies, hopeful signs that we could get on top of ‘things’. Then during lunch, she suggested a trial separation, maybe after the holidays. The wind fairly flew from my sails.

Christmas was here. We had a friend’s house in Darwin to use over the holidays and traditionally we gather with mates.

We forced civility, and while we skirted around each other, we continued to plan late-night Christmas shopping, in town. I felt that the cracks were merely papered over, winds were continuing to find their way under the veneer.

Work demands provided a safety valve for some of the tension. The daily routine saw final pays made up and distributed, Social Security pension cheques cashed, and a special pre-Christmas barge arrived with all hands helping to unload the provisions. The school’s Christmas concert went ahead and, as always, was a huge hit.

Mid-afternoon saw a dog taken off the beach by a large croc. A witness said the croc chased the dog right through the middle of the dozen kids playing at the water’s edge. Rangers from town were due shortly – they asked me to reconstruct the portable trap that I had in storage from last year’s crocodile episode. We positioned it in the saltwater estuary behind the community. As the rangers arrived, I had it loaded with a goat carcass.

There was nothing left to do but board the small plane for Darwin. For forty minutes, we bucked and side-slipped our way across the Arafura Sea, huge banks of dark blue/black cumulous clouds in the east confirmed the Bureau’s suggestion that another big blow was heading our way.

Our gear was quickly dropped off at the house and we hit the shops. Food, booze, presents and the intoxicating delights of being back within the mayhem of the Christmas Eve shopping crowds.

There was no alcohol allowed in the community, so festive booze attracted a lot of our attention. We gave scant attention to the Bureau’s advice of an approaching full-blown cyclone: that was a mistake.

We were drunk when the house’s roof disappeared into the night. The roar of a million jet engines saw off the walls.

The bathroom, with its deep bath, remained. Huddled inside, we clung tightly to each other for five hours as countless sheets of ripped, twisted roofing iron, furniture, trees, cats and probably even dogs screeched past. Darkness, a drenching deluge, ear-splitting noise and terror enveloped us.

Tracy bought Tracey and I back together. Those strengths that first attracted us were reforged in that bathroom.

As the fiftieth-anniversary approaches, our kids and grandchildren are now a testament to the power of that night.

But that noise is never, ever forgotten, replaying on some stormy, southern nights!

Magpies and fairies

Posted in Domestics

Morning sunshine is sneaking onto the front verandah, erasing memories of recent cold, gloomy days. As is my want at such a time, I’m outside, wrapped warmly and seated, expectant, waiting for the daily Magpie Chorus to start.

On queue, they arrive. There’s a bit of jostling; four, five, now six members executing some preliminary circle work, then undercarriages deploy, dropping down onto the power pole’s crossbar. Immediate carolling acknowledges successful perches!

As a youngster, my Gran tells me that six magpies herald ‘…gold in the offing …’ In this instance, it’s maybe the gold-trimmed, fluffy clouds disappearing into the west.

One bird lifts off, there’s a tiff, a squabble that has necks taut, all straining upwards into the day’s soft light, raucous chortles, a competition to outdo each other. A moment’s quiet, and then they are aflight, swooping, skylarking. I go and make another coffee. These performances set the tone for my day!

With a long black, stiffened with a nip of whiskey, I breathily whistle along as Classic FM play Purcell’s Trumpet Voluntaire. I resume my seat and sip, reflectively.

The kids will be here shortly. I have promised to take them across to the playground later. It’s also LSD (Lolly-Shop Day). I’ll need to load their wallets, each with a gold coin. Where can I scrounge coins?

I take another slurp and continue to ponder what, if any further gold the maggies might be offering. I make a mental note to include a new can opener on the shopping list: the old one finally gave up the ghost last night, trying to open the tinned dolmades. The sunshine suggests it’s probably also a good laundry day, and the quince tree’s perfume is filling the front yard – a reminder that their poaching is nigh!

The radio announcer mentions a comet viewing tonight. Will the kids be interested? I still have that old telescope somewhere. I’ll need to do some planning as a clear westward horizon is essential, in position about an hour after sunset. Maybe a barbeque somewhere elevated? But not too late, as the children have school and daycare tomorrow.

I consider options. There’s that clearing in the pine forest atop Mt Parrwang*, the fireplace, a picnic table and minimal light-spill from westward settlement. Perfect!

I buy sausages, rolls, tomato sauce, ice cream, and the can opener. We’re on-site by five, the snags cooked and eaten well before sunset. We settle in. I have the telescope set up but Thomas suddenly lets out a cry of dismay. His front tooth has fallen out. It’s on the ground somewhere. All focus is on the potential loss and implications for a Tooth Fairy’s visitation!

We are on hands and knees, minutely searching the grass. Thomas simpers. A magpie chortles a tenor melody while from somewhere distant, kookaburras provide baritone harmonies. I see an enamel glint, the tooth is wrapped in tissue and pocketed safely, the Fairy’s visit secured!

Indisputable priorities, between fairies and comets, are made. We head home.

*- Djadja Warrung word for Magpie

Fantasy’s freedom

Posted in Childhood Memories

“Next!” That was my dismissal. He’d asked me if I’d ever sung in a choir. I hadn’t and I told him so.

“Here endeth the lesson” a phrase that comes to mind in an unguarded moment, when I wander back to that audition, sixty-five years ago. Week three, the school chaplain had one hundred new, eleven-year-old boys yarded, drafting speedily, hopeful that somewhere in the flock he might come across a choired prodigy.

He had a prestigious reputation as a Choir Master, relocating from Kings College, Cambridge. Some nights I still wrestle with my failure to remonstrate. Maybe he might have reassessed my dismissal if I had just broken out with a few lines from a G&S operetta or a “Please Sir, I’d like…”. But of course, I didn’t. I meekly left the room.

I was aware that I was from the other side of the tracks. I perceived this private boarding school, afforded because of a dramatic change in family fortunes, would forever pin me to the bottom of a pre-ordained pecking order. I was from Rosebud, they all seemed to live in Toorak and beachside holidays were at Barwon Heads. The mismatch was crushing.

My social acceptability was not being helped by newspaper headlines reporting my uncle for his villainous, anti-Australian activities. His vociferous opposition to our involvement in the Vietnam conflict was gaining national traction, but not among my fellow students. Menzies was suggesting treason, the tabloids were having a field day, and me, desperate for admission, fell further into the mire.

My sister and I were both sopranos. We knew all the lyrics, and harmonies within the G&S repertoire, from South Pacific, Oklahoma, High Society, Fiddler on the Roof and any other stray musical exposures we came across. We even picked up and inserted harmonies against Dad’s breathy whistling of childhood-learned hymns and could entertain, me taking the upper registry of the 23rd Psalm.

I didn’t appreciate the significance of missed voice training, vital to taking my voice through puberty in any meaningful way. Rather, I just saw my exclusion from a wonderous four-part singing opportunity, that I badly wanted to be part of! But I still didn’t pluck up the courage to say anything.

In my last year, I finally had the sense, and self-worth, to approach the choirmaster and join. I was part of their chorale. Dio mio! Those wasted years! As a tenor, I revelled in that year.

Singing stayed with me as a favourite, but generally private pursuit. I joined regional choirs and musical repertory groups, the occasional solo performances from Mozart, Handel and Bizet, but more so, as a folk festival entertainer. I became a Rogers and Hammerstein bathroom singer, not Luciano at La Scala: more a pub performing Mario Lanza.

I was left with an unanswerable question. What if, as an 11-year-old, I had been more forthcoming? Dreams continued to titillate, to explore the what-ifs of a missed musical career. I still sing in the car, by myself.

My dad, and me

Posted in Characters

Can ya be in love with ya memories? That’s the question swirling around me head, ever since last June’s bust-up with Bruce.

He reckons we have ta move closer to town! Can you imagine? Three bedrooms on a quarter acre, lawn mowing, neighbours, traffic and kids hooning around. I betcha the Holden will be stolen to do burnouts down the street. “Bruce, we’ll be up to our necks in humbug. Jees, we’ll have to get one of those phones to talk on, as you walk around. And we don’t even know anyone’s number!”

We come from different sides of the ‘tracks’: him, the posh side. I live with Dad, forty miles up a dirt track, in the hills behind town. Dad builds our shack when he gets Mum up the duff. I come along, and with the dogs, me bi-cycle and the horses, we’re as happy as Larry.

Mum eventually pisses off, and that suits me and Dad fine. No more empty flagons smashed at the bottom of the hill! She takes off with the petrol station bloke. Never hear from ‘er again.

I go to school, sometimes: when Dad needs to buy stuff in town. The dogs ride in the back, tails an tongues flyin’, thirsty as buggery when Dad leaves them in the Ute while he has a few frothies. He’s pissed when he picks me up, but outta town, I take over the driving!

I meet Bruce at school. At lunchtimes, we sneak down behind the dunnies for a ciggie. Over time it becomes a bit of a grope-session, but it gets us outta class. Everyone reckons we’re sweethearts. I suppose we are, and it’s no surprise when he eventually moves in.

Dad gets lung cancer. I take him to the doctor. Sargeant Whatsit pulls me over at the edge of town but when he sees Dad, we get a right-royal express trip, sirens and all, straight to the hospital.

There is an old hayshed near town. I sleep here for a few weeks, seeing Dad every day. I go into the shop and buy him some grapes. It’s a bit of a joke, but he laughs and laughs, in between coughing.

Three weeks and he tells me to take him home. I argue, but he’s a stubborn old bastard. The nurses chucked his old clobber out, so I drop into the clothes shop – The Leisure Wear Emporium – and get him some new stuff. He looked bloody flash.

Back home he lasts a few months. The Doc comes out with some pills. Dad prefers my huge, home-rolled joints. God, I miss him!

The shack is my own temple now. A ginormous photo of Dad hangs on my bedroom wall.

Bruce moves in after the funeral. It lasts a couple of years before he pisses off. I hear he takes up with the sheila at the pub: the blond floozy! They’re living in a townhouse, garden, lawns, the whole shebang!

Bugger ‘em. Me, and my dad, are happy!

A cloudy, cold day in July

Posted in Tripping

So who suggests this bloody walk, anyway? The brochure and the hotel concierge both say the trek between Lake Louise across to Lake Agnes is clearly marked, spectacular and takes 5 to 6 hours return. We’ll be at the point where, before global warming, six individual glaciers converge.

Late summer, a cloudy, cold day but with sunshine forecast. Our day-packs include an expensive bottle of French fizz, several chocolate bars and smoked salmon wraps. We each wear hiking boots, jumpers and windcheaters, with the capacity to strip down later. We are on the track by 10 am, with excitement and smartphone-cameras setting the pace.

Sheila and I have been planning the trek for months, a highlight of our Canadian sojourn. We tackle the steepish gradient, stopping often to savour the jagged, snow-capped peaks high above. The lakes below have this opaque, impossibly whitish-blue, snow-melt colour.

Off the trail, we wander and find a perfect picnic spot. The scenery is breathtaking, a magical setting and the sun appears. The bottle of Verve Clique induces a post-lunch snooze.

We oversleep. The chill air and long shadows lend an urgency to our return. The sun is disappearing behind the mountains. Ten minutes and we still aren’t back on the trail. Strange, as we both think our lunch spot is close by!

Thank God for the windcheaters. We know the track is somewhere close, as our pace quickens, hearts pump just that little bit faster.

After an hour of blundering about, dusk comes and goes. We share a mild panic. Are there bears in this part of Banff? What other beasties are there in the Canadian wilderness? A branch snaps somewhere; the sound echoes eerily in the stillness.

“We’ll be right”, I proffer, my croaky voice discredits my confidence. What do the Mounties suggest we do? If lost in Australia’s Outback, you always stay with the car or sit tight; take stock. With no car, we sit.

What if we light a fire? Will that help searchers find us, or will it just attract curious wildlife? Kindling is plentiful and we huddle close to the fire’s comforting glow.

No Mounties arrive and we endure a cold, sleepless night. There is little talk, but our imaginations work overtime. A couple of owls begin a mournful duet; real or imagined terrors lurk in the darkness. Are those wolves howling in the distance?

First light, a dead fire and suddenly a moose lumbers into our clearing. We scream. I wonder who gets the bigger shock. Wow, those antlers? Do moose attack people? We’re up and running.

We’re on the trail before we realise, it’s just a hundred metres from last night’s encampment! To the right, it goes slightly uphill. We go left.

A misplaced step. I trip over a tree root. My ankle’s not happy! I try to hobble but it’s too painful. We’re sitting anxiously, wondering. Tears don’t help.

We hear, then see the chopper. It circles. Salvation. Thank God I have Comprehensive Travel Insurance!

The eyes have it

Posted in The North

It’s the yellow eyes my mind returns to. Nightmares feature those unblinking orbs, set high on its head, half a metre back from a snout, above a row of pearly whites. Even after all these years, a shiver works its way up my spine.

The family holiday, in Darwin. Someone suggests the visit to Crocodile Cove, the ‘ultimate Top End holiday challenge’.

We sit in the grandstand watching a squealing mob of kids take the plunge, four of them caged, snorkel-equipped and lowered slowly into the glass tank. The huge croc appears lazily disinterested, but my sphincter makes up for any apparent lack of activity. It’s working overtime!

My breath catches, and my heart rate accelerates. it’s so hot. I gotta get outta here. I sit on a bench outside in the street.

I’m back thirty years, a memory sparks of me, and a boat, stuck on a sandbar in a croc-infested, tidal river. I had chartered the skippered boat to visit a client living on an island in the Gulf, off the mouth of the river. The meeting finished, the skipper suggests a shortcut he knows. It’s going to take 30 minutes off the return trip.

Shallow, sunlit patches of sand pass close below, the outboard bumps a couple of times and before I know it, we’re caught on a sandbar. We jump out, desperate to get the boat back into deeper water.

The water abandons us faster than the proverbial ‘speeding bullet’. Ten minutes and we are high and dry, the ‘bar now half a metre above the water.

It’s midday, full sun, forty degrees, one hundred per cent humidity and four or five hours to wait before the tide turns. We make camp, a struggle but get the boat turned over, one side propped up on its oars, a makeshift shade. Then the sandflies arrive. It can’t get any worse!

A length of rope, attached to an anchor and a water bottle tumble out from the bow as the boat tips. I grab the bottle. It’s empty!

I see the hint of a browny-green rock at the edge of the water. Dios mio: my worst fear takes shape as the rock morphs into a snout and those black-pupiled, yellow eyes emerge. Jaws connect the eyes and snout, an enormous body, a gentle, swaying tale. It’s staring, motionless, us its total focus.

We have a whispered discussion and on the count of three, we run to the other side of the boat, heaving manically and right it. Inside, seated, some semblance of security settles.

The croc idly lumbers over for a closer look. It bumps the boat. It circles, slowly. We hold our collective breath. It slumps onto its stomach, along the length of the boat. Surely, it’s not going to sleep?

For two hours we sit, silent, motionless. For reasons best known to crocodiles, it then stands and moves back towards the water!

The kids are talking excitedly about the show. Those yellow eyes remain, etched, indelible.

Grandpa’s treasure

Posted in Family

He remembers seeing a Thylacine, in the glade, staring. For maybe a minute it lingers before it quietly moves off into the bush. There are other stories. Bullocks crushed when the jinker’s brakes fail; several near misses, as behemoths fall the wrong way, mateship and his lifelong love of the bush.

But now, the sandwiches are mostly eaten, some lamingtons remain and I see coconut crumbs caught in the spider web below the buffet. Late afternoon sunlight picks out the delicate patterns. Empty cans of Grandpa’s favourite beer now sit along the top of the piano, at the edge of the stage and on table tops around the Hall. Queen Elizabeth looks down inscrutably.

A collection of near-new Akubras perch above rheumy old faces, long white beards and sun-darkened arms. They are over on the mainland for the send-off. We hear the old stories, slight variations but much laughter and banter.

An evening chill wafts into the Hall and the mob start to drift toward farewells. Commitments are being made for future catch-ups, and contact details are being updated as we three start to collect rubbish, plates and glasses. It is a fitting goodbye, an occasion he would approve.

Julie, Rob and I are in the kitchen. The mood remains reflective. It takes Rob to say “Do you remember Grandpa talking about …” and the floodgates open. We are individually back in his bed, our early morning ritual, a black jelly bean, from his stash, and a story before breakfast and school.

A timber cutter, working a Tarkine timber coupe early last century– tall tales of derry-do, monster trees crashing to earth, near misses, runaway bullock drays, wildlife, sometimes gentle reminisce – a boiling billy, lunch beside burbling streams, catching giant yabbies for dinner. We fall into these stories effortlessly.

He leaves Tassie and comes to live with us after Mum and Dad are killed in the car accident. Over the years, holiday camping and bushwalks are anticipated escapades and he effectively instils our lifelong love for the bush.

We all remember the trip on the ferry from Melbourne to Devonport. We drive to the little settlement of Marrawah, out from Stanley, on Tassie’s northwest tip. We visit his old two-room cottage, gravity now slowly drawing it earthward. We visit the cemetery, weeding and placing flowers on Grandma’s grave. There are a few moist eyes but as we drive into the Tarkine, an almost youthful exuberance arrives.

None of us will ever forget that last trip. Now some twenty years ago, it continues to resonate. I take many bits and pieces from his stories to entertain my own children.

We are now in the solicitor’s office. Just her and us three grandkids. She hands each of us a sealed envelope and reads his Will. The envelopes have identical copies of a Land Title. We now share five hundred hectares of wilderness in the northern Tarkine, next to the Montagu Swamp Forest reserve. There is a hand-drawn map defining his treasure’s boundary.

Friday’s focus

Posted in Domestics

I had half an eye on the catastrophe unfolding in the Grampians, terrifying images flash across the screen. Rampant flames swallow grasslands, trees and houses, insistent red and blue emergency lights wink furiously. Yellow Hi-Viz bedecked men and women hold hoses, hopeful, but powerless against this de-bottled genie.

The Bureau predict the maelstrom; dry summer bush, high temperatures, cyclonic wind speeds and probable lightning. A perfect coalition. It arrives. I reflect on my recent fishing trip to the Grampians’ Lake Bellfield.

My mind refocuses back on the crossword. “Oh, of course,” I exclaim, waking old Barak, snoozing below the table. He stands, barks uncertainly and drops a malodorous fart. ‘Significant Australian summer event.’ 8 letters ‘Bushfire’, why didn’t I think of it before? It’s going to fit with both 7 and 12 down, too. I use the puzzle to blot out the TV and its coverage of the conflagration.

Janet and I have agreed sunset is our deadline; forty-five minutes left and I note that she is going gangbusters. Her pen slashes across the page in furious endeavour.

Concentrate. 3 down ‘Traditional evil expulsion’ – 6 letters. Jesus. Oops, No I don’t mean him – only five letters anyway! Traditions. Could it be an Indigenous evil? Kaditja? Nah, that doesn’t fit. Ummm, I’ll come back to it.

OK, 8 across. 6 letters ‘A bad omen, Caesar.’ Janet wanders into the kitchen. I hear the jug being filled. “Do you want a cuppa?” How can she afford the break – only 35 minutes left? “Yep, thanks.”

“How are you doing? What about that bloody clue for 3 down!” I stretch things a bit and I hunker down further on the couch. I cross my fingers and legs, moving the newspaper closer to my chest, away from potentially prying eyes. “Yer, how sneaky is that!”

I can feel beads of sweat on my upper lip. Time is of the essence. I realise I shouldn’t cross my legs: or is it my fingers? Which one brings bad luck? One of them is lucky, and provides immunity when telling a porky. I can’t remember, but anyway, it’s just an old wives’ tale. Maintain focus!

The ‘Traditional evil expulsion’ remains unresolved. My phone sits beside me on the couch. Nah that’d be cheating.

Am I spelling ‘expulsion’ correctly? I take a peek at Danword’s crossword solutions. ‘Evil expulsion’, a sneeze is traditionally thought to be evil leaving the body. Sneeze. That’s a bloody stretch. That’s worth a letter to the editor. I insert it.

8 across. ‘Nighttime cosmology.’ I have blank, blank, T, blank, blank, R. Is this another Aboriginal spiritual reference? The night skies were certainly always on their agenda. Comet, Star, hang on, of course, Meteor.

I am almost there – 3 minutes left on the clock! Will Janet guess I cheated?

Her pen slams down onto the kitchen table. Wack. “I’m done” she yells, a look of absolute glee writ across her dial. Barak is rudely awake again, stands and another deadly fart fills the room!

An aged chick, checking out

Posted in Characters

Things were looking grim. My part-pension and small nest-egg just weren’t covering the ever-increasing cost of the overheads for myself and the five cats. Tears and sleepless nights didn’t help. I needed a job. I had retired from a Nursing Home carer’s role a few years ago. I felt totally lost!

Pension Day and I saw the note stuck to our local supermarket’s window. “Help wanted.”

I only knew her as Anne but she was friendly when I made my approach. “Yep, deary. Maybe. We generally get kids after school filling these jobs, but … er. I’ll let yer know.” I gave her my number, collected a few groceries and tripped off home, my nerves jingling, but with a sense of achievement quietly boosting my ego and mood.

“Have you ever worked these new-fangled tills” Anne asked, when she called me the next day? I stretched things a little, remembering my regular shifts in the school canteen. “I was a check-out chick a few years ago, it has been a while, probably a bit rusty but I am a quick learner,” I replied.

I got the job, and despite a sleepless night, here I was, Day One, the early morning shift, mostly milk, bread, papers and forgotten lunchbox fillers.

The barcode reader did the heavy lifting. Anne kept an eye on me but my confidence grew as the morning progressed. Standing up for hours was going to be an issue – at least toilet breaks got me off my feet!

A lady asked me about the triangle, next to the recycling advice on the bottom of a packet of biscuits. I had to admit I had no idea what it meant! She was a bit huffy but Anne reassured me that “the silly old Biddy asks the same question every time she comes into the shop. Don’t worry about her.” I was getting into the swing, even offering “Got much on for the rest of today” with sincere disinterest!

Lunchtime – my feet were killing me and my lower back felt like a vice had been applied. But I was still going strong and I hadn’t messed up too many items. The vegetables were the trickiest – I had never come across Endive, or Celeriac. Both of those transactions were helped by the customer providing guidance as I flicked through the online menu.

Anne asked me if I could do the afternoon shift. “OK”, I bravely said. Three thirty and the kids started to arrive. Anne warned me to be on the lookout for “… the little smart arses”. I was totally swamped – it was a tsunami of lollies, muesli bars, chips and soft drinks. I suspected one girl had a bag of chips up her jumper. I queried her overly plumped chest – she swore, called me an old cow and ran out of the shop.

That flummoxed me, but again, Anne came across and reassured me. “Yep, we get ‘em. She’ll be back in a week’s time. We’ll be ready for her.”

A master painter

Posted in The North

My mind was buzzing, memories swirling and ideas flying towards a central concept in these few moments after reading the fly leaf of the paperback sent via a friend’s ‘declutter’!

Stephen Scheding’s “A small unsigned painting” brought my brother’s email about six months ago rushing, faster than the proverbial ‘cheetah’ back into my consciousness. He had attached an image, an old bark painting from Arnhem Land, now belonging to a Melbourne-based acquaintance of his, wondering if I might be able to help identify the artist.

I opened the attachment to enable a closer look. Mmm, Central Arnhem, somewhere between the Cadell and Liverpool Rivers was my initial guess. I immediately had an artist in mind, but for the moment wanted to keep my powder dry.

The rrark cross hatching, the condition of the bark and the subject matter – a single, Saratoga fish, found in the freshwater creeks of the stone country inland from Maningrida, confirmed in my mind’s eye a master painter’s work, late 1960s, maybe early 1970s. I used a magnifying glass to take a closer look at the paint, and while I knew I was only looking at an image probably captured on a mobile phone, it was still able to confirm that the paint remained well adhered to the bark. This narrowed the timeline down definitely before the mid-1970s.

I would like to see the painting. I emailed my brother and made arrangements to visit the owner at their inner Melbourne, Thornbury address.

It was only an hour’s drive from home “So where did you and the painting first meet,” I pose, as a cuppa and bickies were laid out. Her expression suggested she was wandering back through the years, and answered “We were on a trip to the Top End. We went to a gallery on Knuckey Street and that painting just leapt off the wall.”

Raintree Gallery – always a treat and proprietor Shirley Collins and her buyer, Dorothy Bennett both knew their stuff. I was a regular visitor and an occasional buyer, when I worked out of Darwin. I reflect for a moment and realise that the statue of the Jabiru in my hallway also came from Raintree. They carried a wide range of styles: the distinctive colours of the Tiwi artists of Bathurst and Melville; the finely delineated Rrark favoured by the East Arnhem painters; wonderful woven pandanus mats and baskets, statuary, the recently developing Western Desert ‘dot’ paintings, coming into vogue from Papunya, Yuendumu and other Central Australian centres. I often spent my lunch breaks admiring the offerings.

“I remember that the lady in the gallery admitted she didn’t know the artist. It had apparently come in many years earlier, part of a buying trip undertaken by the previous owner of the gallery.”

I could see through the doorway from the kitchen into a lounge where several barks were hanging and we took our coffees through. “It’s that large fish, the landscape-orientated bark. I think it is a barramundi.” It was a beautiful piece, with finely executed cross-hatching, or rrark, and the backbone, ribs and major organs depicted in what has been labelled as X-Ray painting. “I think it is a Saratogo, not a Barra,” I suggested. The sharply upturned mouth sets the two species apart and they are found in the rivers and creeks of the ‘Stone country’, the central Arnhem Land plateau.

I wandered over and stood below the bark. My earlier thoughts, when looking at the photo were undoubtedly correct – Central Arnhem, Upper Cadell river area, I reckoned. ”Can I get it down off the wall?”

I turned it over and there was still very feint chalked ‘U’ and what looked like an ‘N’. Dusty chalk might also be a ‘D’.

I had brought a magnifying glass with me and held it in front of the painting closely. The absence of the telltale pinprick-sized dots across the front of the painting confirmed that the work had been made ‘properly’, the artist using the crushed juice of the dendrobium orchid as the colour fixative and it would not need protection. I had witnessed the Curator, the AIM Missionary, Gowan Armstrong several times giving barks a solid smack on the back of the sheets to assess the fixative qualities. He had adapted an old manual fly spray pump, filled with water and Aquahere, applied where there were signs that the various ochre, kaolin and charcoal colours were flaky.

I sat on the settee with the bark across my knees and reflected back upon the many occasions of being with this old man and his large family, at several of his seasonal encampments: at Yaimini, at Nanggalod and at the Upper Cadell river crossing that I think is called Benebenemdi.

I told her briefly about the painter, Mundark, a man of many talents, a man considered by many to have magical powers, a medical knowledge, a bushman of high degree and a little about his country.

That evening my memory set off wandering back to those times, the early 70’s through until the early 90s, when I was living, working and then work-trips at Maningrida and my various interactions with that old man.

It’s amazing how the brain can sometimes set up a chronological set of memories. I remembered my first contact with the women folk of the family on an early Pension Day at Maningrida. Rosie Mialpi and her daughter Lena Rungawanga came in to cash their Social Security benefit cheques. A few weeks later I had reason to drive down to their encampment at Benebenemdi.

I dug out an old photo from that trip of the kids, I remember Lena, David Galbuma, a very young George Waduna, Hilda Rostron and several other youngsters.

The three musketeers

Posted in Childhood Memories

It has been a couple of decades, and I was pleasantly surprised at my reaction to the email. He was going to be in Melbourne for a conference. “What about a catch-up?” I am waiting at the terminal.

We were the ultimate Three Musketeers, Stephen, Becky and I. We were in Bubs together, throughout Primary and for most of our early Secondary schooling. We shared the same classes, the same interests; inseparable in, and out of school. There were sleep overs, parties; three sets of parents sharing the responsibilities.

There was some competitive banter, but not enough to ever strain things. I remember our lunch boxes used to create a bit of friction. Mum was forever putting little paper-twists of last night’s leftovers, a wedge of smelly cheese, a few dry biscuits, a taramasalata, gherkin and egg sandwich. Steve or Beck’s Mum loaded peanut butter, or cheese and vegemite sandwiches on de-crusted, white bread, a slice of cake, and a fruit juice box. Nobody wanted to swap anything from my box!

Bye and bye, puberty arrived. Stephen and I were early casualties, as Beck found the older boys had already thrown away the train sets, the tree house and bikes! I saw Beck coughing on a ciggie, behind the Shelter Shed one afternoon!

We did eventually achieve a half-way sense of masculinity, squeaky, unpredictable voices, fluff forming on our cheeks and things changing ‘down below’. Steve found some magazines and we poured over the ‘educational’ pictures.

Beck’s eighteenth birthday was a bit of a watershed. She looked fabulous – her blond hair, her figure and outfit. Steve and I were in awe, both quite openly appreciating the changes that had occurred, envious of the current guy at her command, our own girlfriends, both still in fifth form, unable to cut the mustard.

We all breezed into Uni, Steve into Vet Science at Flinders, in Adelaide, Beck and I into Medicine, at Melbourne. Beck and I continued to party together, and for a few brief months in our final year, we became a discrete, albeit furiously erotic ‘item’. Our affaire remained off the radar; I don’t think Steve ever knew.

I still mull over what might have been. How did she end up marrying Steve? He took up an offer of a post-graduate posting in Sri Lanka, working with the privately-funded Elephants for Life organisation. Beck ended up at the Women and Children’s Hospital while I went interstate, into private practice.

Contact between us drifted, as work, and my own family commitments took centre stage. There were the Christmas Letters, the occasional email but their wedding invitation knocked me for a six! I had no idea they were even in the same hemisphere.

That corner of memory that holds the wistful emotions had never comfortably ‘placed’ or settled Beck. The unbidden longing occasionally resurfaced. When I saw both of them, coming down the concourse, my emotions fell apart. The hugs had me tearing up, loudly – a spectacle that I couldn’t quite explain.

Rodja

Posted in Characters

It is the first weekend in our brand new home! Boxes are spread from arse to breakfast and unpacking is going to be the order of the day. A very pregnant Ruth has lists on lists, details of where everything is to go. She is still asleep!

The kettle boils, and I pop a tea bag in, to draw. The doorbell rings. “Hullo, my name is Rodja” says a small urchin, sucking earnestly on a chupa chup. He is wearing a pyjama top and thongs. He comes into the living room and makes a beeline for the kitchen. He deposits his chupa into the pyjama’s pocket, settles at the breakfast bar and proceeds to finish off my bowl of muesli.

“Where’s Ben” he queries. Before I can get a handle on things, I ask who Ben is. “He lives here. With his sister Sarah and Mummy and Daddy. Who are you?”

The chupa is back in his mouth, and a line of colourful dribble is mixing with cereal milk residues, tracking indirectly down his face. As I watch, the sparkling flecks are reaching the edge of his chin, momentarily hesitating, consolidating before dropping neatly down onto his pyjama top.

Rodja heads for the back door and out into the yard where he unceremoniously reaches the lemon tree and projects a modest stream! He tells me that Ben, Sarah and he have been practising but Sarah can’t do it. He asks again where Ben is.

Ruth appears at the back door, a smile of welcome faltering as she sees the small, semi-naked boy at the lemon tree. “Who is he?” “I haven’t the foggiest.” “We are moving soon. I want to say tut-tah to Ben and Sarah.”

The doorbell rings again. We all head back inside and meet a woman we take to be Rodja’s Mum. “Is he here? The movers arrived a few minutes ago and he must have slipped out the door while I was busy with them.” “Oh, excuse me: Molly Waters, two doors up. This is where his best friends Ben and Sarah live, or they did until a couple of weeks ago. He practically lives here.” “Come on Roger, let’s get you home, into the shower, clothes and some breakfast.”

The chupa is continuing to dribble down his chin. I notice the sparkly splodges on the kitchen and loungeroom floors, but he happily anchors a sticky hand into his Mum’s, and leaves. We assure Rodja that he is most welcome to come again. Molly smiles over her shoulder.

We entertain Rodja several times over the next few days. He continues to look around, in case Ben is hiding behind one of the doors, in a bedroom, or in the bathroom. He loves Muesli, and with Molly’s say-so, we share a couple of bowls of cereal together.

Rodja’s big day arrives and we are on the footpath waving good-bye, he at his window yelling to us not to forget to say tut-tah to Ben.

Tis the season for netting …

Posted in Gardens

“Those bloody rosellas!” The trees are awash with splashes of red, blue and yellow feathers, each gobbling greedily, screeching loudly, confirming to the multitude that the fruit is ripe. I have the broom, waving it manically as I run into the orchard.

Frustrated tears fall as I race around, ineffectually shoo-shooing, flapping the broom, yelling and dancing around like a banshee. Individuals begrudgingly lift off from a tree, circle lazily overhead, unapologetic, obviously annoyed at my intrusion into an otherwise tasty meal. They remain airborne momentarily, before drifting downwind and settling into another, more distant cherry tree.

We have been arguing, acknowledging that the birds will be circling soon. We agree that netting the trees is now urgent. The fruit is starting to blush beautifully; provocatively. “Yer yer. I’ll be onto it directly.”

His mobile rings. I watch, and see his eyes take on a misty, hypnotic sort of glaze. “Yep. Yer. Wow. You bet. That’s great. I’ll see you down at the shed in an hour.” He grabs his gear, advising “Macca is meeting me down at the boatshed – the Snapper are biting something fierce!” He and the Ute are gone!

“Bloody thanks, Barry.” It is a two-person job to get the nets up and the birds are having a field day. Bugger him: the prick! I’ll do it myself!

I climb the stepladder, the netting tentatively secured over my shoulder. They’re awkward and weigh a tonne, but I get several lengths over the framework. ‘He and his bloody snapper can go to bloody hell’ I fume, as I climb down to reposition the ladder. The netting falls back to the ground. “Shit!”

I replace Barry with the broom, quite satisfactorily. I get an effective rhythm going. The netting stays in position and I move on to the next crossbar. “Take that, you bugger” as I stab the broom into a fisherman. He sploshes into the water and I gain extra netting over the frame.

Beady eyes watch my progress, the cackling suggests scornful appraisal, but by late afternoon, what remains of the crop is under netting. I grab the broom and race around underneath, yelling obscenities, loudly. I get the last of the rosellas out and tie down the sides. I laugh defiantly at the screeching protest from the nearby gums.

“Look at this beauty – I reckon it will go 3 kilos.” I grab the fish and walk to the kitchen door. I toss it out onto the back lawn. I yell “come and get it” into the approaching dusk, inviting any stray cats or fish-eating rosellas to a feast. “Hey, that’s our dinner!”

I throw a scornful look over my shoulder as I make my way to the bathroom. “I am ordering a small pizza, with extra anchovies, olives and a serve of garlic bread: for one! Enjoy the fish!”

Steamy suds sting several superficial scratches. Sipped sparkling shiraz starts soothing strained, stiff muscles, as I review and confirm what has been a long, defining day!

Gazan intercept

Posted in Imagined

1. Deep dark deeds

The dark, uneven floor is littered with what my ears tell me are probably pottery shards. I stub my toe on something and am loathe to move the torch beam far from the floor. There are larger bits of pottery, that for the moment remain unidentifiable.

An hour earlier I tied my large string ball to a tree at the catacomb’s entrance. The two-kilometre-long string is now mostly gone, despite assurances that it would get me in and out safely. I only have a smidgeon remaining from the hefty two-foot-thick bundle of twine I start with.

I fail to note the stairway’s erosion; I fall into the darkness. For a moment I am back on the Egyptian freighter that last month ferried me from Alexandria. I remember my sudden fall down a steep companionway.

Now I am on a hard, stone floor, my torch, still shining, a metre or so from my outstretched hands. Fighting rising panic, I crawl and recapture its beam. I have only fallen a couple of metres, but it is enough to have my senses on high alert. I draw comfort from the torch’s presence and move its beam to illuminate my surroundings. I see the crumbling stairway; no wonder I fell, as most of the steps are missing.

I am at the edge of a bell-shaped chamber, maybe ten metres across, the roof five metres above me. I play the torch across the nearby walls – I see a frieze: intricately patterned red, yellow and white tiled symmetry, a metre above the floor, running around the cavern’s perimeter.

I make my way to the wall and have a closer look. Its simplicity is elegantly beautiful. I have a vision. It is two in the morning, pitch black, save for my bedside clock’s digital display – a series of numbers: five, five, two, two, five, five, two – a never-ending series of numbers stated, then reversed, repeated ad infinitum. I marvel at my brain’s tangential capacities.

My torch wanders further, picking up a very large block of stone. It looks like a coffin – the right shape and there is a partially displaced stone lid. I look inside. OMG, there is a skeleton – I hesitate to say a ‘mummy’. A bony arm rises upwards from the bleached jumble, caught in final rigor, a bony finger latched over the lip of the sarcophagus. I play the torch. An involuntary shiver has me stepping back, another block of stone, another fall!

This fall breaks my string, my umbilical to light and life. I panic but find and retie the ends. Emotions are surging – an urgency to share this fantastic discovery and a possibly draining battery galvanise my decision to start retracing my steps.

The battery did well, but it eventually splutters and leaves me to crawl the last twenty minutes in darkness. There is palpable relief when a corner reveals a tantalising, distant light.

I need Harry, my old Sydney-based mate, who happens to be a Private Eye.

2. Help arrives

I ring the last number I have for Harry. It is early, before 06.00 in Australia. Nobody picks up. After several attempts, I have to assume the contact is cold. I remember he marries a parliamentarian, an Asian Australian lass – Helen Chung, if my memory serves me correctly. I Google her and I get an MLA email contact.

My email goes unanswered for another couple of days, then a terse four-liner arrives, advising of Harry’s retirement, his present uncontactable circumstance. She tells me that he is trialling retirement aboard a coastal freighter running between Cairns and Bamaga, off coastal Cape York. She insists that I not try to contact him again! I respond briefly, schmoozing, with a bit of historical banter. I query the shipping endeavour, but she is not forthcoming, save suggesting I contact Isabella Tomjanovic, whose CV lists pathology and criminal investigation as her two interlinked professions. Helen includes an email contact.

Isabella is friendly and as I give her a brief rundown on how I have come to be in Israel and of my discoveries and suspicions, she confirms an interest to be involved. “Why contact me?” was her second response. I tell her of Helen Chung’s referral.

I share some background information; my contract with the NSW Museum, requesting that I investigate what they suspect to be dodgy provenance on a collection of recently offered, extremely valuable Israeli artefacts. I talk about how my preliminary investigations have led me to a Tel just north of Beersheva. I talk about Harry, my memory of his Middle Eastern forebears, his interest in antiquities and the intervention of Helen, warning me off any further contact.

I tell her about the local police, who are less than helpful, about as useful as a frieze on a melting iceberg. They are alleging that I am possibly an antiquities smuggler, and after I inform them about the skeleton in the Tel, that I am possibly interfering in a crime scene. They are not interested in fingering anybody and even suggest I could be a terrorist, after seeing the recent Egyptian departure stamp in my passport. For good measure, they are threatening to deport me!

I need a ‘friendly eye’ in the country. Isabella agrees to help and her El Al flight arrives four days later. She has her sister’s looks – fantastic – a trim figure, stylish clothes and a demeanour that exudes capability.

Clandestine preliminary briefings occur at her Tel Aviv hotel and later, at her room at the Hotel Negev, in Beer Sheva. I am clean-shaven now and have a reddish rinse through my hair. I think I look twenty years younger, and with my new pink suit, presenting quite the new me. She is complimentary, in a paternalistic, sisterly sort of way!

Isabella has bought a dozen cheap ‘burner’ mobiles – we split the haul. I move to Gaza, where I can quietly continue my background research on the antiquities trade and possible Palestinian connections. She arranges to visit the Tel and the crime scene.

3. A lonely parting. 

The only clothing on the skeleton is that uniform – possibly an Australian issue, but any identifying insignia has long gone. I play my torch up and down the remains. There are still wispy bits of dark hair on the skull and a hole – looking very much like a 303 calibre, straight across the top of the skull.

I am nervous – the location, deep inside some sort of ancient, manmade hillock is playing on my psyche. I am never much for confined spaces and the two-kilometre crouching-crawl into this place is spooking me badly. Being by myself isn’t helping, although, on Brad’s advice, I have taken the precaution of carrying an extra torch! A judicious comfort.

The outstretched skeletal arm holds my attention; in particular, the bony finger hooked onto the rim of the sarcophagus. It confirms the nature of this bloke’s death – unnatural, and an incompetent kill at that, poor bugger; to die, alone in this dark cold cavern!

I want some of that hair and I lean into the sarcophagus. I can’t quite reach the skull but by dragging a nearby block of stone closer, I gain extra purchase. I am within a ‘bee’s-dick’ of falling into the bloody coffin, but I reach the hair and pop a few strands into a forensic bag. In regaining my balance, I send the outstretched, skeletal arm clattering back to rejoin the rest of the jumble.

OK, I think I’m done here, as I play the torch across the skeleton one last time. I catch just the merest hint of a reflection. I look again at the skeleton. There, next to the fibula, on the floor. I carefully reach in again – God I hate doing this, but my fingertip moves the bone to reveal a metal clasp around the remains of a small book. I scrabble further and before I know it, I’m arse up, lying spreadeagled across the top of the bones.

As I gently disentangle myself, I see a metal hat badge partially hidden by the skull – an emu and a boomerang and the words ‘Light Horse Fifth AIF’. So, he was a Digger! With my treasure, I clamber inelegantly out.

I retrace my route, scrambling back up the broken staircase, and rewinding the twine onto the spindle. I commit to never, ever getting into one of these situations again! I have two items that might help the investigation – the hair’s DNA might be traceable. As a former pathologist at Sydney’s Chippendale Morgue, I still have privileged access for DNA analysis. The library at Canberra’s War Memorial will be crucial to identifying who the poor bugger was and possibly unravel events leading up to his lonely death.

From my hotel room, I call Brad and discuss my findings and intentions to take both items back to Australia for analysis. I’ll have it completed soon. I send him a picture of the hat badge and my preliminary assessment that this guy was not an antiquities smuggler. I dump the ‘burner’ phone.

4. Herrings, possibly red ones.

Isabella rings me from her hotel before she begins her flight straight back to Sydney. She sends me a picture of a bronze Light Horse military badge and suggests she will have a DNA analysis of the skeleton’s hair in a couple of weeks. She also shares her preliminary assessment of a probable disconnect between the skeleton and the smugglers.

I return to Gaza, via a circuitous route back through Cairo, then across Rafah, the Egyptian-controlled border crossing. I again book into the Grand Palace Hotel, overlooking the calming Mediterranean waters. I have a meeting with the Museum’s library staff in the late afternoon and in the interim, climb the staircase to my room and join the rest of the community in a midday siesta.

Gaza is a wonderful city, despite its aggressive Israeli encirclement. There is still a community life that continues in the streets – the food stalls, the coffee shops, the hectic, honking traffic, the donkey poo, the dust and the motorbikes – a friendly warm whole. Surprising historical links back to the Light Horse, and Beersheva in 1917 remain, and with Australians also based in Gaza in 1942, my accent delivers extra warmth and friendship.

Museum staff confirm the thefts of their recently acquired collection of 2nd-century Roman armaments. The four spears, found at the back of a Beer Sheva tel, they consider them priceless. They want them back and suspect they are already out of the country. Their intel’ suggests an Australian destination.

Their security further notes unusual consignments going to individuals associated with a gang calling themselves D’shakher. I had the privilege of crossing paths with these guys before – they were fencing a stolen Greek marble frieze. I would need to be vigilant – they dispense with niceties when their interests are under threat.

I know they have a local connection in Gaza. I get talking to a spivvy sort of chap at the library, not authorized to speak publicly, suggesting the thieves were Israeli, not Palestinian, simply using Gaza as a ruse. I retire to a cubicle to consider the state of play.

  • I am sure the skeleton is an incidental ‘red-herring’, albeit it was in the same Tel that held the ancient Roman weapons;
  • The skeleton’s hooked finger at the top of the sarcophagus indicates foul play, possibly during the First World War. The diary might provide explanations;
  • Local intel suggests shipments are leaving Gaza consigned to the Sydney-based gang. The Israeli links to D’shakher membership, and their penchant for never leaving loose ends untended, are both well known.

I stake out a suspect warehouse and photograph four guys coming and going regularly. I also break into the premises one night, finding a large crate on a loading dock. I photograph the Sydney addressee and high-tail it back to my hotel.

The next day I follow a small truck back through the Rafah checkpoint into Egypt and to the Suez port facilities at Al Sokhna. I deduce my Middle Eastern work is done. It’s back to Sydney for me.

5. Gaza erupts 

I have flights back to Sydney booked on Monday and spend the intervening couple of days tidying up my investigation and alerting both Interpol and the AFP of my findings. I suspect the Vaucluse address on the crates, seen in the Gazan warehouse belongs to the D’Shakher hierarchy and I provide details of the ship that was seen loading the crates at Al Sokhna docks.

‘That’s a wrap’, as they say, and I retire poolside at the hotel. I ring Isabella, forgetting the time difference. “Brad, it’s two in the morning!” She’s pleased with my progress but reluctant to share her own results until we’re together.

My mind returns to that poor bastard dying deep underground in the Tel. It will be interesting to see what the skeleton’s hair analysis and her discussions, viz the precious old diary with the War Memorial’s staff turn up.

So, what to do with my remaining 36 hours in Gaza? It is Saturday, maybe a visit to the Museum of Archaeology?

Mustapha, my Interpreter/Driver and I hear the radio announcer break into the music program. ‘Hamas is raiding kibbutz, killing and taking hostages, firing rockets.’ We pull over, listening intently to the garbled account of some uprising! I switch channels. I can’t find Gaza FM, but pick up an Israeli station reporting massive rocket and insurgency attacks, mostly centred from Khan Yunus, down near Rafah and the Egyptian border crossing.

Moments later we hear the air raid sirens wailing. We leap from the car as the first of a series of missiles fly overhead! We are crouching between the car and a brick wall when the next barrage arrives, the high-pitched screech, whistling, deafeningly close. It must have missed us by a whisker; we feel and hear the thuds as the debris starts to fall around us.

The radio has Netanyahu promising to wreak unholy revenge, to destroy Hamas, to flatten Gaza. What the hell is happening? Missiles are pommeling the city, buildings crumple, fireballs rise and evil-smelling, toxic fumes blanket the city.

We turn the car around, hoping against hope to get back to the hotel in one piece. We round the corner at the moment the Grand Palace Hotel folds into itself, vomiting a huge fiery conflagration. A deafening explosion is followed by an eerie silence, then screams, sirens, people running – mayhem announcing that my world is losing its shape!

The radio is advising that the attacks are more deadly. Reports are talking about wholesale slaughter, hostage-taking, bodies in the streets. Gaza is being sealed off, the IDF are gathering at the Gazan/Israeli border crossings, a huge call-up of reservist troops is scheduled. Netanyahu is establishing a Government of Unity, threatening to exact massive revenge.

I need to find an escape route! The idea of catching my flight from Tel Aviv is fading by the hour. Mustapha suggests we drive north. His family, and fuel are loaded. Thank God I have my passport and wallet in my coat pocket. More incoming rockets. We head for the underground carpark at the nearby hospital.

6. Isabella’s attention shifts 

A tropical beachside, pina colada sipping and the bloody phone is ringing. Bloody 2.00 a.m. It’s Brad. “Are you still in Gaza?” He is and has provided Interpol and the AFP with shipping details and the consignee’s address. “I reckon we have earned a dinner at Doyles when I get home, Rock Oysters, salmon and cold beers. Watcha reckon?” He hopes to depart Tel Aviv on Monday.

The morning news carries images and sketchy details of a Palestinian attack: Hamas, slaughter, and Israeli hostages in southern Gaza and in the city. My calls to Brad ring out! I trust he has the wits to stay away from whatever is happening.

I was going to tell him about my skeletal findings – his name, for a starter – Arthur, (he prefers ‘Artie’) Makepeace. His diary provides a snapshot of his time in Egypt and Palestine with the 4th Light Horse Regiment.

Arti grew up in Inglewood, central Victoria, the son of Eucalyptus Oil producers. His identity disk, tucked into his diary, will shortcut discussions at the War Memorial, in Canberra. He talks of his close mate Goldie, ‘Goldilocks’ Seppelt, from somewhere north of Adelaide, recruited into the Light Horse about the same time, and their shipboard meeting, en route to Alexandria. Goldie is creating a complete sensation with the local girls, drawn to his intense, white-blond hair.

The pyramids dominate their weeks of acclimatised training encampment, before the eventual deployment to Beer Sheva. General Harry Chauvel is calling the shots. The diary gets to the ‘pointy’ end in the last couple of pages. I quote

“We’re finally going to see some action tonight. Chauvel wants a nighttime attack upon Beer Sheva where the Turks have a stranglehold on the precious, accessible water It is heavily defended, with machine guns, and even aeroplanes being used to drop explosives.

Goldie and I ride together. We get about three hundred yards before both our horses are shot out from under us. I also cop a graze across the top of my head, bleeding a lot, but I’ll live. We make our way towards a nearby hillock, the bastards are still trying to ping us. We crawl into a cave. Goldie fixes a bandage around my head.

I ring all Brad’s burner phone numbers. They ring out.

Guttural voices approach. We retreat further into the darkness. There is a tunnel, we crawl quietly, as the Turkish bastards fire a weapon into the cavern. A bullet whizzes past, missing us by a whisker. Our trench torches work well. Batteries are uncertain, only mine in use at the moment. The Turks have given up looking for us. My head is hurting badly, although the bleeding has mostly stopped.

My battery is flickering—Goldie’s works. We fall out of the tunnel into a bell-shaped room. An old stairway has crumbled and …

The entries stop. A couple of misshapen words suggest their lamps are giving out. But I now know how Arthur arrived at his final resting place!

7. Isabella – a new focus

Over the top, some might even say hilarious, but my interests and responsibilities have completely shifted. Engaged to uncover antiquity-smugglers, now solved, leaving me with a deliciously intriguing trail of Artie’s to follow.

I now know he was from Inglewood, in Victoria. He is a casualty from the 1917 Charge of the Light Horse regiment that were seeking to wrest control of the vital water supplies locked up by the Turks within Beer Sheva. Artie’s diary records his final poignant moments, wounded, and with his mate Goldie, hiding out in the depths of the Beer Sheva tel.

I have been in contact with the library staff at the National War Memorial, establishing that Artie remains listed as MiA. His diary is going to change that! But they also tell me that Xavier Seppelt’s body was recovered from the battlefield, close to where the Charge commences. Putting two and two together, I surmise Goldie presumes Artie is dead, he leaves the Tel and is gunned down trying to get back to his lines.

My DNA hair analysis needs to be matched. Staff at the Loddon Council offices put me in contact with the local Historical Society and in less than a week, I am emailing Bessie Makepeace, who is declaring that Arthur was her Great Uncle. She now lives in Castlemaine and would be delighted to meet up, to share her DNA.

News from Gaza confirms Brad is probably on the edge of a precipice. I continue to call his mobile numbers ineffectually. My hopes for a positive outcome are flagging, as time erodes my expectations.

I am driving down to Castlemaine, but have arranged to meet Larry Jones, Inglewood RSL’s President en route. I stop for a few moments at their War Memorial, noting the MIA asterisk against Makepeace, E.A. I meet Larry at their lodge and he hands me a photo of Artie, one of those typically uniformed poses, held on a dwindling number of mantlepieces, leather-framed, dusty. I turn my car south towards Castlemaine.

I take a call from somebody in DFAT. They want to confirm Brad’s details and are seeking photo ID. She opined that the Department are expecting to find any remaining Australians in Gaza plastered to smithereens. I thanked her for her advice!

Bessie Makepeace’s twinkling eyes sit above a smile that is both welcoming and teary. We hug as she bundles me inside for a cuppa and cakes. Her 90+ years are incidental, as she busies herself around the kitchen. Questions fly at me over her shoulder as the tea cosy is positioned, biscuits arranged and cups brought to the old deal table. She is bursting with curiosity and excitement, that smile threatening to split her features.

She has already cut a lock of her hair and presented the plastic bag to me. She has a fading memory of the many stories being told, often in hushed tones, by the returning soldiers and recalls photos of a young man going off to war.

8. Collateral mishap

A massive explosion, rubble, smoke, fumes gushing down the corridor towards me. I am knocked off my feet by the force of the blast.

As things clear, there is sunlight streaming from what was the ceiling of our subterranean space. What remains of a car is rocking backwards and forwards, precipitously suspended through the rupture. The occupants have not fared well, although someone is moving – a man in the front passenger seat! Inshallah, I might be able to get to him!

Through the rubble, I fumble and release the seatbelt and he tumbles down into my arms. A bloodied soul, alive but with uncertain prospects. I undertook a quick triage of the other passengers, confirming everyone else has not survived!

There is a deep cut running across his scalp. I call for help and between us we get him onto a blanket amongst the rubble. His pulse is flagging and there is blood seeping through his coat. We need to move him from below where the car continues to rock, ominously. We carry but mostly drag him further down the corridor. It is a good thing that we are only a hundred metres from our makeshift clinic.

Settled with the other wounded, I reach into his coat pockets, finding a wallet, and an Australian passport. ‘Brad Gentle’, hailing from Sydney. I wonder what he is doing in Gaza – probably a journalist, reporting to the world what the Israelis are doing to us!

I walk over to what serves as our Nurse’s Station. A bit of a joke really, maybe even hilarious to allocate such an optimistic label – we are out of drugs, water is being administered by the half cupful and our only light, a series of candles, plus the newly accessed sunlight, now reflecting back along our burrow!

I record his details in the Register, noting briefly the circumstances of his arrival. I walk back to the suspended car and with several others helping, we extract the bodies of the driver, probably his wife, and two small children. We take their bodies into another corridor, to what has become a morgue.

How can this be happening? So many of us, we are not Hamas. Last week I was a doctor in the hospital, today I and one hundred and fifty others, mostly from the medical centre, try and offer medical support to our neighbourhood’s human collateral. We can only assume that the earth-shattering detonations above mean that our hospital has been targeted by the rockets.

One of the walls of the clinic has a portrait of Netanyahu. A target has been drawn and it is plastered with red splotches, blood-soaked bandages thrown with a curse, as the living make their final journey towards Jannah.

I looked after the journalist for several days, but sepsis set in, his temperature soared, and his pulse got weaker. I logged his passing in the Register and hoped his spirit was not unduly compromised by our Islamic funerary rites.

That music box

Posted in Family

She twirled, her blue tutu flounced, as she pirouetted around her glass floor, the mirror capturing and reflecting the performance to ‘London Bridge is falling down’. It was always a ‘must have’ highlight of our visits to Gran. “She’s an enchantress” Gran used to say, but that was as much information as we ever got. She teased and said all would be revealed “in the goodness of time.”
She died at home, Mum nursed her in my old bedroom, vacated when I scored the placement into University College. Gran’s multicoloured crocheted rug, her present to me on my tenth birthday, gave its comforting warmth back to her during that last winter.
I tried to get home every few weeks – ever enticed by Mum’s ‘Sunday Roast’ and a catch up with an increasingly enfeebled Gran. The music box inevitably played second fiddle as my late teenage years were taken up with girls, partying and study, but when Gran came to live at home, it reappeared on the little dressing table next to her bed, wound and ready to entertain. Whenever I was home, Gran loved lifting the lid and directing the ballet.
The tinkling, sometimes scratchy music was still able to provide treasured moments, and Gran was ever ready to claim centre stage. Her blotchy, wrinkled old hands would wind up the mechanism before the performance could proceed. We would be together, her in bed, me close, on the blankets. Precious times, memories that continue.
Mum is now the ‘Gran to my own couple of kids. She is the keeper of that little dancer and in our time-honoured family tradition, has the music box prominently set on the mantlepiece. She delights in bringing it down when we visit – it was a guaranteed show-stopper for our four-year-old twins.
It is Christmas Eve. The children are beside themselves with excitement, Day Care having worked the kid’s anticipation levels to fever pitch. Mum has the tree decorated with all the old favourites, the angel that I had made in primary school still taking the top spot, the lights twinkling, a veritable bonanza of colourfully wrapped, beribboned boxes and packages buoying the day’s feverish energy levels.
There are excited squeals, laughter, tears and mayhem. Mum has a CD of carols ready and we all sing Jingle Bells, Rudolf and attempted Away in a Manger, interrupted finally with calls for ‘The Music Box!’
Mum obligingly gets it down, winds the key and the ballet is off. I have a photo somewhere of that moment, the sheer wonderment on the twin’s faces, the little dancer, slightly out of whack, but memories attesting to her enchanting powers.
Time gets away. I had been promising a declutter for ages and was finally under the house, battling the spiderwebs. A box marked ‘Christmas stuff’ surfaced. Old decorations, an angel and a cardboard box – the Music Box. OMG, with bated, breath-holding anticipation, I gently wind the key as a lumpy throat and maybe even a tear fell with London Bridge!

Lowness

Posted in Imagined

There is nothing unusual about shadows. They are synonymous with sunlight; dark, two-dimensional splotches duplicating the world about.

What’s unusual about the present circumstance is that there is no sunshine. It’s midnight, moonless and I am stumbling along the laneway, making my way homeward after a boozy session at the local. I sense, rather than see this shadow, just a few paces behind.

I stop to take a leak. I excuse myself to the supposed nearby humanity, explaining the sudden urgency, my ageing prostate, an unavoidable indiscretion. There is no response. I turn to add further explanation to the shadow’s creator, but there is nobody – just a dark shading across the nearby ground. I notice it deftly sidesteps to avoid foot-wetting.

How many pints? I count a couple of thirst quenchers, then two or three, maybe there were four, as we play pool, and I reckon I have one or two ‘roadies’. Not enough to deaden the ever-pressing regrets, but enough to buoy my egotistical front!

I lean against the wall to get a handle on things. I fumble with the tobacco and papers. Finally, I roll and light a functional smoke. I revel in the forbidden hit to the back of my throat, the delicious sensation as the nicotine threads its way down to my toes.

I am here in the laneway, by myself, save for the ‘presence’ – this dark human form nearby. I am drunk and my wallowing, scornful loneliness is threatening to overwhelm me.

At this point, my legs buckle and I fall heavily to the ground, my back still against the wall, my legs akimbo, splaying out into the road, my bum promising a significant bruise in the morning. My brain is working overtime, trying to find a rational explanation for my here and now. Things are foggy.

I throw out a question; seeking reassurance. I am sure I hear feet shuffling in the gravel and some movement within the dark greyness. There, did you hear that? It was a definite throat-clearing gurgle as I turn to gain confirmation from …? I draw on my smoke, there is a discernible arm movement from the shadow.

Nothing makes sense. My mind wanders around the last few months; the drinking, the hangovers, the verbal stoushes, the breakages as dishes and accusations fly. Consuming loneliness following the final, slamming door. My sober apologies unheeded, weightless but weighing a tonne upon my soul. I am sinking into a deep, deep pit, the booze’s braggadocio, my temporary evening prop, gone.

I wake to blinding light, and a familiar, splitting head. I am crying and snivelling as I sit in the dirt. Where to from here? Dark thoughts, eternity posing as a provocative, circling possibility.

The dark shape sits beside me in the laneway. I see and smell wet trousers and some of last night’s dinner, moist and sunk into the dust.

The shadow rises from the gravel, turns silently and walks off down the lane.

 

*A heartfelt thanks for Carl Jung’s exploration of ‘shadows’.

Grandpa’s got fairies

Posted in Family

I have my old red and green shirt on and I walk over to Grandpa. “Is it time to do it?” He doesn’t hear me, he’s kneeling down fiddling, using a feather to tickle the flower’s inside. He has told me that it is his secret for growing huge, prize-winning veggies.

I try again “Hey, Grandpa!”

”Oh, hello youngster, have you come to help?” I hold up my trowel, “is it time to do it, yet?” “Do what?” I remind him “Grandpa, you said we were going to do the highsints!”

Blankness. “The highsints,” I repeat. An uncertain smile passes across his face. “Highsints, oh yes, we were going to lift the hyacinths.”

I climb up onto his knee and we survey the garden. This is our special place, shared only by him and me. It was for big boys, ‘not for silly little kids.’ He gives me a hug and we sit for a few moments longer.

We saw a family of fairies yesterday, just behind the clump of agapanthus. Their buckets and spades, with their Mum carrying towels, makes me think they were headed to the beach. Grandpa thought the suggestion was impossible, as the nearest beach was miles away!

Last week, as we were digging over the strawberry bed, we had actually seen two wombats, a possum, a goanna, a numbat and several galahs. They were all sitting in the old apple tree. The possum was eating an apple and asked whether last year’s bumper strawberry crop would come again.

The clear blue sky was swallowed by puffy white clouds, the breeze picked up and I got goosebumps on my arms. “Better head indoors for a mug of hot chocolate,” Grandpa says. Mum has made some pikelets and with the plastic step in position, I get the knife and spread strawberry jam thickly. I just love strawberry jam and I remember making it last summer, with Mum and Nannie.

Mum suggested Grandpa supervise bath time. There was a bit of splashing, some spillage as the soap passed around our pits and bums. We all sang ‘Old Macdonald’s Farm’ as Nannie arrived with towels.

I no longer wear pull-ups, not like my dorky brother, or little sister – she still wears a nappy! I’ve just gotta be careful with the drinking and have a big pee before story-time.

I stood on the step and helped make the Pizza base. The other kids help putting pineapple chunks, mushrooms, ham, cheese and as an experiment, strawberry marshmallows on top. It came out of the oven hot and steamy. Yum o!

Teeth cleaning – I love the frothy fizz, and the loo. In bed, Grandpa climbs in between us. He reads about the old bloke who swallows the chook. We all yell the chorus; “By crikey, that’s crook!” Mum and Nannie come in ‘shooshing’, and there were kisses and cuddles. A final dash to the loo, and they reject my calls for more stories.

I love sleeping over at Nannie and Grandpa’s.

We’ve got fairies

Posted in Family

“Grandpa, is it time to do it?” I am concentrating on tickling the aubergine’s stigmata and the tiny voice just wasn’t computing! I heard the voice, I momentarily looked up, but, ah, who was this small person in my hothouse?

I heard the voice again; I heard and identified an impatient whine. “Grandpa!”

“Oh, hello youngster, have you come to help?” Thomas held up his small trowel and had an uncertain look on his face. “Is it time to do it yet?” “Do what?” “Grandpa, stop humbugging me. You said ages ago we were going to do the highsints!”

Highsints; highsints? What on earth is he on about? Highsints, oh, hang on, we were going to lift and cleave the clumping hyacinths. “Yep, we are almost ready Tom. I just need to sit on the bench for a minute, and catch my breath.” He climbed onto my knee and we surveyed our domain.

This was our special place, shared only by him and me. It was for big boys, ‘not for silly little brothers or sisters,’ I was told.

We had seen a family of fairies yesterday, just behind a huge clump of agapanthus. They looked like they might have been on their way to the beach, as they had buckets and spades, and their Mum was carrying towels and an umbrella. Funny that, as the nearest beach was miles away!

Last week, as we were digging over the strawberry bed, we had actually seen two wombats, a possum, a small kangaroo, a goanna, a numbat and several galahs. They were all sitting in the old apple tree next door. The numbat was eating a big red apple and the possum asked when the strawberries would be ready.

The soft afternoon light gently moved towards an evening chill. We achieved the lifting and separation of the ‘highsints’ and I supervised three small people into the bath. The fleet of small boats, all with two funnels, the two ducks and a watering can made for a squishy undertaking but everyone had fun. The brush removed the final bits of garden from Tom’s fingernails and soap was sparsely passed around the mob’s pits and bums.

Nanny arrived and as I extracted bodies, she was ready with towels, pull-ups for the elder two, a nappy for the youngest and everyone was inserted into PJs that had been warmed on the hydronic radiators.

The kids and I made a Pizza base and everyone helped apply pineapple chunks, mushrooms, ham and strawberry marshmallows – a recent inclusion, and it came out of the oven hot and steamy.

In the bedroom, Tom proudly read the sentence about the old bloke who swallowed that chook. Three sleepy heads cheruped the chorus; “By crikey, that’s crook!” Nanny came in and there were kisses and cuddles. A dash to the loo, rejected calls for more stories and quiet started to descend.

Sunday arvo, a sleepover and Mondays are our weekly grandkid-smooze, but thank you, a generous G&T would be delightful

Sebastian and I

Posted in Peccadillos and Pecados

I can stop over before or after Marseilles. I will miss the funeral regardless of my decision, so I go to Rome first, planning Madrid, with free time, afterwards.

Our loving is erotic, comfortable; mostly uninhibited, albeit always within the constraints imposed by an affair. We have been lovers for fifteen years, intermittent, opportunistic, international by circumstance.

I get the email – from the Janitor downstairs – Emmanuel, always such a happy man, ever cheery as we rendezvous, as our schedules provide for loving and togetherness. I am in no doubt he put two and two together long ago; the small overnight bags arrive, mostly singularly. Our agreement was that Emmanuel would be our emergency contact, should ever the need arise.

I am here in Sebastian’s bathroom, rarely ventured before, the mirror fogs as the water steams over my hands. His razor, tissues, toothbrush, band-aids, his blood pressure tablets and a new packet, Nitroglycerin 5mg, made up the benchtop detritus. The steamed glass carries the message “Maybe if… but no! Steph, I love you. Until we embrace again.”

My legs tremble, and buckle – the toilet catches me, wounded, bereft as the tears fall. My chest is heaving, breath forging through intermittent hiccupping, the past tense’s omnipotent being, imposing on my ineffectual attempts to stay in the present!

We shared the cost of this flat, two ensuited bedrooms, lounge, laundry and kitchenette, a stone’s throw from the Plaza Mayor, the old city, a cobbled square, cooling orange trees, benches underneath. The flamenco guitarists stroll, spruiking, wistful expressions ever ready for the wayward visitors, long ago identifying us as unlikely prospects.

He knew but chose not to share the knowledge –never wanting to burden me, the condition perceived as something not to sully whatever linear time we have left. God, he could be – I correct myself: he had been a stubborn prick, at times. He has alerted Emmanuel of impending doom and left instructions.

It takes me a week to get to Madrid. The funeral is done, but Emmanuel gets me the details of the cemetery. I have sunflowers, our favourite statement of happiness, and intended to stay a while to share reflections; say goodbye.

I recognised her from photos; the widow weeds, yellow scarf pushed back off her forehead, and lilies, walking towards the freshly mounded soil. We speak briefly, me explaining that I worked with Sebastian several years earlier in the London office. I brought condolences from several of the longer-serving staff. We part.

I am back at our bower. Emmanuel shares tears as I pass his door, and he agrees to arrange for a local charity to take furniture and other resaleables. I collect stuff: my anniversary cashmere wrap and Channel, underwear, make-up, a few bits of dressy evening gear, and jeans. I close the door on a wonderful chapter.

I momentarily lean back against the door. We were good with each other. The walks, theatre, books, dinners, conversations, the loving. A sniffle.

I give Emmanuel the keys, and a hug.

Attention, counters

Posted in Characters

I do like the roominess of that seat immediately behind the driver, but their head spoils my view. I need to get an uninterrupted vista to ensure I count the mileage posts accurately.

Some councils put the distance markers on the left. This means I need a left-hand seat, towards the very front of the bus. But I notice that some regional bus routes have the signage on the right, some even alternate, between left and right. I must secure the whole back seat to cope with this scenario.

I’m at the head of the queue as my bus pulls into the depot. I am ready, but inexplicably, it parks in the next bay. I admit surprise but am quickly forging my way towards the front of that queue. An old biddy grumbles as I kick her bag. I glare at her; she drops her gaze and my expression leaves her in no doubt about the dangers of the trip hazard her bag creates.

There is a soft, pneumatic hiss as the narrow double doors open. The girl with the baby slung on her chest moves towards the handrail. I deftly manoeuvre my hand under hers and take a proprietary grip on the rail, heaving myself up. She retreats and bleats a softly-spoken “sorry” to my back. I swipe my Myki and survey the nearly empty interior.

The mileage counters won’t start until we take the exit, in 6.8 kilometres – and they will be on the left. I will need a left-hander: perfect, as I slide into the second row. I have my yellow notepad and pencil out. I will use the Freeway’s linear swathe to make any necessary adjustments to my seating. The young mum throws a withering scowl and the aged biddy follows suit, as they both sidestep past me up the aisle. Bugger both of em, I think.

There are a couple of asthmatic wheezes as the bus exits the depot and moves out into the traffic. I hear the ticking of his indicator as he moves across into the middle lane. We rumble along, all sweet and predictable but my senses are tweaked as I hear the indicator again. We are moving into the extreme right-hand lane. Hang on – you’re making a mistake! We’ll miss our exit. Hey, get back into the centre, you bloody fool!

He ignores my silent protests and before I can alert him, he climbs into a right-hand overpass and exits the freeway. This is madness. There’s a marker, E 16. No, no. I look around and spy a right-hand seat towards the back. I grab my bag and hurriedly move. A second distance marker whizzes past.

I note the two markers on my pad and breathlessly start to consider what is happening. The driver is obviously lost. I will alert him to his mistake.

My day is in tatters. I reassess things. Am I missing any counters? Oh my God, is that a marker? Bugger, now I am totally, absolutely flummoxed!

Pardon?

Posted in Gardens

I was up early, wanting to maximise time in the promised warm, dry weather; to catch up on the weeding around the aubergine, bok choy and kale: she had always loved her Kale! I had been paying the blackbirds with bread, to scrape the weeds, but they were on a ‘go-slow’. I alerted them to a pending showdown.

Something was missing from my daily routine, but I couldn’t put a finger on it. No matter, it would come to me eventually. I was in the garden by 10.

An hour in, I saw but ignored the flashing lamp that alerted me to the front doorbell activation. Piss off, whoever you are.

It was Doug whatsit, he had my drill, the one he’d borrowed last month, “just for an hour or so!” We had met at a Men’s Shed shindig, me the newbie and him, as I was to learn, the Club’s dullard!

He was now striding purposefully down the driveway, waving my drill and what could have been a couple of meat pies. “Morning tea and ya drill” he proffered, as he put them on the potting table.

Lip reading had become a recent proficiency, so I obligingly read about his trip across town earlier in the day, and the terrible traffic. Apparently, a dog had run across the road in front of him, and he only narrowly avoided hitting it. He told me about his neighbour, who had a fall last week and had seven stitches inserted. I learnt about his meal last night!

I allow the glazing to descend as I set my auto-nodding and grunting routine into gear. Thirty minutes later, and I’m sure he hasn’t twigged to my hearing impairment. I have learnt about NATO’s latest Ukrainian counter-offensive; seen that Albo has found a rationale for exiting the AUKUS fiasco, and that the government had found and recruited fifteen thousand RNs for the Aged Care sector and extended the budget surplus by five years!

The Bok choy was weeded, and I was just turning my attention towards the Kale as Doug backed into the wheelbarrow and went arse-up. It was like Chernobyl: the barrow went into the potting table, which fell over, tossing the seedling tray, drill and pies high into the sky. It scared the bejesus out of Rover, but only for the time it took for him to smell and realise food was potentially in the offing. He scored both pies.

My chuckle was taken the wrong way. I helped Doug to his feet, but a testy “humph” was thrown at me as he stated his need for the loo. He stomped, unbidden, in through the kitchen.

He was emerging as I was putting the kettle on. We both saw the hearing aids at the same moment: on the table, charging, their green lights winking. The penny dropped as he asked “Are ya deaf, or sumpin?” I parried against his querulous look, “Ah yes, deaf as a post actually, without these little beauties!”

A voice ne’er forgotten

Posted in Family

The portable Olivetti case is battered and scratched. Despite a few decades of dust and grime, I recognise it instantly.

I see Mum sitting uncomfortably on an ancient, low stone wall, the typewriter on her knees as she pounds the keys. There are pictures in the family albums of that Olivetti, well-travelled, always in the luggage, as she and Dad roam the ancient wonders of Ephesus or Knossos, the cherry blossoms in Hiroshima, the jungles engulfing Anchor Wat or the culinary delights on offer in the cafes of Paris.

She is a great correspondent and whilst boarding school offers temporary release from her motherly duties, the weekly epistle of her doings is a delightful, welcome drawstring for me, back into the family’s doings. Sometimes there are little newspaper snippets, a sketch, or a menu included in the envelope.

So it is with emotional anticipation that I gently lift the machine from its dusty repose and bring it down into the kitchen. A few passes with the cloth and I gingerly work the rusty clasps. A spare ribbon and an old red biro tumble out – to correct the inevitable typos!

I lift the cover, and … oh, my goodness, an old yellowing page is still on the roller! She has been writing a letter when the typewriter was put away! How does this happen? Then I remember the circumstances of her sudden death; the massive, irreversible collapse within minutes of her walking through their front door!

It was a letter to me. It was undated, although I deduced from the contents it was written as they made final preparations to leave Europe.

There is a wonderful sense of reconnection, an immediate stripping away of the years, a memory of that sudden, devastating loss. There is the beginning of a moist eye, as I read:

Dear Chris,

We leave Heathrow tomorrow morning and I admit to a sense of relief to be heading homeward. More so than on other trips, this one has become too tiresome, the regular moving between hotels, the uncertainties of our daily excursions – me having to be navigator – you know how I hate maps – while Winston thrills to the narrow hedgerows and laneways. To be honest, it has become a ‘travail’.

While Dad continues in his enthusiastic role of guide, I think I have caught a cold: runny nose, chesty cough, mild headaches and fatigue. I need to stop! So yes, the plane will be a welcome relief.

We treated ourselves to a bit of a ‘knees-up’ last night, a quite wonderful meal at Bradleys. It was very classy and our concierge had recommended it.

I started the evening with a delicately light souffle – double baked leek and gruyere combination; Winston had the soup. For mains we both chose the fish – Hake served alongside fennel, new potatoes, olives and aioli that complemented the fish beautifully. Dad compromised and we enjoyed a bottle of surprisingly good, English Riesling. I wasn’t aware that there was any wine grown here, but it came from Cornwall.

I will finish this on the plane tomorrow.

Mum’s last words, writ nearly forty years earlier; I hear her voice, my memory pitched finely, delivering a warm, enveloping moment!

Heads, you lose

Posted in Imagined

Losing my head was an unfortunate mistake. An invitation to attend the Tribunal Revolutionaire, an all-expenses-paid holiday at la Bastille and then away it went – the ‘national razor’ dropped, and that was that!

Silly, careless when I stopped to think about it. I know I was outspoken, loud sometimes, just a drunken, forlorn bore, but I did enjoy my cousin Louis’ company. He dressed immaculately and was generous, to a fault. Those soirees at Versailles, the champagne, the costumes – merveilleux.

He and I would hunt stag, sometimes pheasant across the estate or enjoy a dalliance in a woodland glade, the perfumed companions always such a joy! These were exquisite times, although head winds were definitely blowing.

Hardly a week went by without some boisterous street protest. La Bastille was bursting at the seams, le Widower was in constant demand, with reports that it has become a hazard even for the executioner, with the residues causing dangerous, slippery surfaces. The peasantry were revolting!

Difficult times were upon us. I was left sightless, at what was to become the Place de Bastille, left to wander – blinded, as the city fell into mayhem and I heard degenerate crime was rampant.

I found eventual refuge in the towers of Notre Dame – splendid elevation, and reasonable security. The only inconvenience was meeting up with that infamous tenant, that windbag Quasimodo. Supposedly gone centuries before, but actually just in retirement. He scared the hell out of me.

But he taught me several survival tips. The deadly boredom of death – the unending non-existence. I needed to amuse myself, to pass the time. I found strolling on the streets, of an evening, restorative, joining the throngs of deceased, wandering amongst the living. We would compare notes as the revolution swirled around us. Executions were responsible for many joining the outings.

On occasions, Quasimodo amused himself with devilish ‘guest appearances’. He’d laugh uproariously.

I was still unsure of my modus operandi and was often out on the streets by myself, mingling with the left bank set, once even returning to the Place de la Bastille. But the memories were overpowering. Screw them: I never returned!

Time moved at a funerary pace. We heard about the new decrees, promising egalitarian liberty and fraternity. There were decades of unrest. Armies came and went: soldiers, armaments, destruction but our creamy white sandstone towers remained secure.

Centuries passed, new technologies, new fashions in vogue. At some point, the universities poured out onto the streets demanding egalitarian reform. Our cathedral remained aloof, above the occasional spot of social unrest.

In recent times Quasimondo rarely travelled beyond the towers, whereas I needed the stimulation of the nighttime crowds. The laughter, that heady excitement in the cafes. I was back in the towers by daylight.

But it was all about to change! Some bureaucrat decided the Cathedral’s bells needed retuning. Digital replacements were temporarily installed. An electrical short circuit, a fire destroyed the cathedral, and we lost the roof over our heads – so to speak!

 

The uninvited resident

Posted in Imagined

 

It took her several weeks to tell me. I think if she had confided her ‘vision’ earlier, maybe at the moment when we were first inspecting the property, I would have resisted purchasing that beautiful old house.

Its’ acre sat fronting the little river that wended its way through the village; the water easement effectively provided additional acreage, maintained by the council: a bonus. Our laneway was a cul de sac, just us and four other sandstones, all built when craftsmanship and pride mattered.

The south-facing verandah, with the old Ornamental grape, that doubled as a windbreak taming most of the late summer heat, was our preferred Friday soiree venue. Whiskey for Ginette, Ouzo, over ice, for me. We were sharing a plate of biscotti and Taramasalata.

“Do you remember that afternoon when we were waiting for the Estate Agent and we were looking over the fence?” “Yep. It was commanding, wasn’t it? I think I fell in love with it at that moment, more so as we moved through that enormous front door, the bay windows, the lead lights, the ceiling roses, the Baltic flooring, the generosity of the rooms.”

“I saw something!” “Whaddyamean, ‘ya saw something’?” “In that bedroom window. There was an old lady. She had long white hair, staring, silently out, like she was assessing us. You probably don’t remember but I made a beeline for that front bedroom, to introduce myself. There was nobody there, just a noticeable chill to the air!”

“That’s ridiculous,” I countered, as long-held fears started to scramble into my cerebellum; my voice quavering as I asked, “why didn’t you tell me before?” I had a deep-seated fear, childhood nightmares, irrational fear of ‘bears under the bed’.

She started to backtrack. “I’ve never seen her again. I think she may have been a forlorn figment of my imagination.”

Over the weeks, I gradually regained my composure, but then I heard old Missus Friedrich talking to Ginette over the fence. They didn’t realise I was pruning, nearby.

“Did ya see her?” “Yes, she was standing in that front room.” “Mmm, dear old Phyllis, she was a good friend and neighbour to my Mum. I only vaguely remember her. She and Mum would be at this fence for hours, some days. Gentle, but married a bloody bastard. He ended up murdering her, and the rumours were that the Screws ‘did for him’ before they could ‘ang im. A right bastard!”

She continued: “She always knows when new owners are coming. She stands at that window, quietly assessing them. Never known to do anything else, just looks and then quietly fades away. Until the next sale.”

The hairs on my neck were erect, goosebumps raised like sandpaper, rational thought swamped. I was badly spooked. I found myself turning extra lights on when moving between the rooms, avoiding being by myself in the evenings. Yes, total, irrational behaviour, but nonetheless, a visceral fear was gnawing.

It wasn’t long before Phyllis was at the window again.

A ghost story’ include words white, screw, wind and forlorn

Three notes – Johanna

Posted in Imagined

Men! Two husbands and a brother-in-law, dead or as good as! And now I am forced, by circumstance, into an industry dominated by self-important misogynists who dismiss me out of hand. It is time for women to stand up, to unite. I have joined the Social Democratic Labour Party, and steer the Women’s sub-committee. It’s time for change!

My musical and linguistic accomplishments, and my teaching skills all go unused in the hurly-burly of the art world’s demands for exhibitions and promotional soirees. Both are greased with large amounts of alcohol, opiates and braggadocio.

Aah, my Theo, I miss you so. I remember your note, just five years ago, asking me to come to Paris and marry you. We had barely met, just a few times when your work brought you to Amsterdam. Brash, youthful, but interesting. I let you dangle for the moment. I had my studies at the Institute to complete and I had an offer of work in London for a few months.

You never really got over Vincent’s death, blaming yourself for the physical distance between you two; he in Arles, you at the other end of the country, in Paris. Your grief took a toll, adding to the effects of the pox from your earlier whoring. Six months after Vincent’s suicide, you followed him into the soil.

I have little Vincent, my constant joy. We are left with a small apartment, widowhood and the shame of a family suicide. My darling Theo. I have your legacy of over 200 unsaleable paintings, hundreds of sketches, letters between you and Vincent – and no income! I need my wits to turn these intangibles into a livelihood.

Holland and my familial roots beckon. I leave Paris. I teach piano and use my French and English language skills in manuscript translations. I open a small boarding facility. I am making do, but Vincent’s legacy continues as my main project.

I force myself to reengage with the art milieu, following up with Theo’s old contacts, sometimes dancing to the tune of the gallery owners, just to secure one or two of Vincent’s paintings or sketches exhibited. I gift a painting to a friend. It generates interest and two paintings sell!

Vincent’s voluminous correspondence with Theo has marketing value. I compose a note, attaching two of the letters, and send them off to a publisher. They agree to publish and their editorial staff help me prepare the material for print. The initial run of 1,000 copies sells steadily, in the Netherlands, in France, the UK and eventually in the USA. I work on the translations of Vincent’s work into English. It is time-consuming!

I continue to wheedle the galleries. It happens slowly – the long-sought appreciation: sales start to happen on a regular basis and by the turn of the century, Vincent’s paintings, and the works of the others in this post-impressionist movement, begin to be sought by the collectors.

The family gains a steady income. A note from a legal friend advises me to ensure absolute copyright over Vincent’s writing, sketches and paintings remains within the family. In my will I ensure this is transferred from me to young Vincent, and to any future issue. The move is to pay off handsomely.

I am content. My son has married a wonderful girl, their first baby is due shortly. These days I tire easily.

Three notes – Theo

Posted in Imagined

My earliest memories are of the six of us ice skating on the frozen canals running through the centre of Zundert, close to Father’s church. Vincent is a tentative skater, never keen to race with us, preferring the long straights where he would skate at his own pace. As the light closed in, we knew that Mother would have crispy potatoes, drizzled with rich, garlicky butter on the table ready to recharge hungry stomachs.

After school, Vincent used to stop off at Uncle Fredrich’s art supply shop. I watched my brother delight in arranging, rearranging, and then rearranging again the tubes of paint. He explains to me the colours he is creating, based on which tubes are next to each other.

Uncle sent each of us a note, offering us traineeships as we finished our schooling. Vincent was delighted to get out from under the oppressive religious dictates of our father, while I used the opportunity to seriously apply myself to a career prospect. I completed my training and secured a job with the Dutch office of the prestigious French art dealers, Goupil and Cie.

Vincent increasingly went his own way, wandering off with materials supplied by Uncle, into the surrounding countryside. The reality of money to secure materials never seemed to dawn on him and he eventually relied on me for paint, brushes and canvas, my lasting commitment.

The other children went their ways, the girls married off, and our eldest brother apprenticed into commerce. It left Vincent and me together, under the intimate influence of the artistic world, albeit he at the ‘pointy’ end, me supplying the necessaries.

We shared a small room in a local boarding house. I occasionally convinced him to come with me into town, to the cafes, the music halls, and to taste the delights of the brothels. But again, there was a disinterest, withdrawing into his sketching and painting, compulsively, often burning a candle well beyond my bedtime.

I was transferred to the London offices of Goupil. Vincent visited me a couple of times and in one of his weekly notes, declared an intention to move to Paris where the new Impressionist movement was gaining attention. I bankrolled the move.

Our letters were a lifelong habit, his increasingly frenetic ones were often detailing his ideas for a painting, sometimes including detailed sketches, ideas for new colour combinations, shopping lists, and the occasional mention of his domestic circumstances. He rarely responded to the specifics in my missives.

I appreciated his innovative bold colour combinations and his layered brush strokes. Despite my best efforts, he could not realise a sale in the conservative markets of Europe, still favouring a staid interest in the neoclassicists. But Claude Monet and Pierre Renoir were out in the pleine air. They were about to launch a revolution. These were exciting times and my decision to open my own art supply shop was superbly, albeit, accidentally timed.

The gallery attracted a small group of young men, the banter, the cross-fertilization was electric. None were selling their works; all were frenetically decrying the bourgeois surroundings.

I introduced Vincent to the crowd. Gauguin and he struck up a tentative rapport and plans were being made for Paul to follow him down to his newest haunt in Arles, where I had arranged for Vincent to receive help from Dr Rey for his growing medical uncertainties.

At about this time, I married my adorable Johanna and young Vincent was born within the year. Life was good, although Jo miscarried not long after Vincent’s first birthday. We were both devastated, but to add misery to the mix, my doctor was advising that my own feelings of tiredness, and sometimes delirium, might reflect a pox, from earlier exploits!

Things got worse. A note arrived advising that Vincent and Gauguin had had a massive falling out and that Vincent, in a moment of delirium, attacked himself with a knife. Dr Rey has stitched the wound but the doctor reports that Vincent is behaving very erratically.

I convince Vincent to move back closer to me and I have arranged lodgings with a Doctor Gachet, in Auvers sur Oise, just north of Paris, near the junctions of the Oise and the Seine rivers. The doctor runs a clinic for those with mental issues and is also a keen painter. He and Vincent briefly share a passion.

I see that Vincent’s paintings are losing their vibrancy; dark, violent pallets, nighttime scenes, full of almost satanic swirls, dark shapes. I visit him in Auvers and we spend a very happy, settled week together!

It was to be the last time we were out and about. Weeks later I made a frantic journey from Paris. I arrived in time to hold my brother, as his self-administered gunshot wound proved fatal!

Oh Vincent, why? I fear my own mortality as I am increasingly bedridden, nursed by Jo as the deliriums gain intensity.

I am working closely with Jo to ensure she works the market in my absence, to find and promote Vincent’s work. I know Vincent will be her salvation.

Three notes – Vincent

Posted in Imagined

The sunflowers are intoxicating, growing from here to forever, as far as my eye can see, as I pack my easel, paints and brushes onto the trusty bike, and head back. The evening chill is a reminder that summer is faltering, the laneway leaves will be starting to fall, offering a new palette to consider, and capture.

Doctor Rey’s smile is as welcoming as ever as I prop his bike against the old stone wall. We share a pipe and watch the sun shimmer into the distant fields before we go inside. He mentions a letter from Theo that is on the small white noticeboard outside my room.

I sit on my bed and open his letter. As ever there are updates on the family’s Paris doings, plans for a holiday to Brabant, to see our ageing parents, little Vincent’s scratched knee, after a fall from the apple tree, the steady recuperation of Johanna after her miscarriage, and the business.

Theo talks excitedly about his move from London to Paris and the new ‘post-impressionist’ devotees who are starting to frequent his art supply, cum gallery shop. Paul Gauguin; Paul Cezanne and the boisterous crew gathering of an evening to drink that throat-scouring Brittany apple concoction, Chou’chen, or Absinthe in the Montmartre cafes. Theo is keen for me to return, enclosing the rail fare and a little extra.

In the quiet of my room, the invitation rolls around my head. I remember the dismal, cold wetness of the cobbles, the dull gloom of my Parisienne days considered against what I find here, the bluest skies, a hot vibrancy, riotous colours, the friendship of Doctor Rey, the reverend Salles and my little room’s security. I long for artistic company, and write, suggesting the painters consider decamping to Arles.

An advisory note from Theo coincidently arrives on the day that Gauguin steps down from the train. Our first argument is about our quarters, then the food, the heat and my bicycle. We paint frantically, obsessively – the cafes, the spivs, the girls, sometimes pressed even to draw breath between our artistic output and argumentative frenzy. He retreats back to Paris.

My nervous attacks continue. I have a ‘shaving’ accident. Dr Rey stitches my wounds.

The sunflowers continue to hold my attention. I sleep at midday beneath them, dreaming of a ‘School’ forming among their yellowy heads. I exhaust the local supplies of Cadmium yellow, Prussian blue, and Chrome orange but Theo resupplies me. I wake and continue capturing the excitement of these fields until the late afternoon light dictates a halt.

A note from Johanna advises of Theo’s increasing miasma. She is told it is a dimension that leaves him at times wondering who, what and where he is. She implores me to come back to Paris. A compromise is achieved as Theo negotiates my lodgings at Auvers sur Oise, just to the north of the city, with a Dr Gachet.

I write a cheery note, describing the laneways and farmlands beside the Oise. I attempt several portraits of the Doctor, even a couple of self-portraits. Theo visits and we share precious days together before his return to Paris.

He is gone, and sadness descends. I am alone. I paint and the Cadmium warms my soul.

But, it is time, I think. I have the means. It is time.

Protection

Posted in Peccadillos and Pecados

A kitchen knife claimed my attention, protruding from below her right breast, its dark handle bloodied but I noticed, curiously, little else on the front of her pyjamas was sullied. I remember the music machine was repetitively playing ‘Hotel California’. I dialled 000 and retreated, dazed, and confused to her front verandah and waited. Sirens heralded the arrival of ambos and cops.

It all started in October 2021. She bought the house next door; sharing a glass of homemade lemonade on our front verandah while waiting for her furniture van to arrive. It eventually did and her ‘… thanks for the drink,” were the last words we heard from her. No words; no loud, nor soft music, come to think of it; no conversations drifting over the back fence; gardening noises; no accidental flatulence; nothing. Absolute quietude, as though next door disappeared.

Her brother Charlie was in the street as I pretended to fiddle with the irrigation system. He said G’day, explaining that his sister had just bought the property next door. At that moment she came into the street. “This is my sister Jane.” “Janet” she corrected him, fumbling with an explanation that Jane was a bit too ‘Becky-ish’, too many negative connotations! I let that one drift back to the keeper and invited them onto the porch for a drink. I sensed a moment’s reluctance from Janet/Jane but she propped, a little nervously on the couch arm and pretended to sip the cordial.

“So where are you moving from,” I posed and while Charlie said eastern suburbs, she simultaneously proffered western. Again, the foot-faulting explanation of a couple of recent moves. The furniture van finally arrived and with palpable relief, she quickly disappeared. Charlie finished his drink and followed.

I was in the garden for the next couple of hours and saw some magnificent furniture being offloaded. Idle consideration of the western suburbs suggested the pieces were way out of their comfort zone; possibly more suited to the eastern leafy burbs. But it was time to take my sticky nose indoors.

Most mornings, usually before sunrise, I hear her gate noisily open, and moments later her old VW Beetle roundly churbles into life. At some stage during the day, it returns and sits quietly in her driveway, behind those noisy, locked gates. But that is it.

She has visitors: usually dark-suited types, short-haired or shaved heads, driving expensive European cars. I saw her brother occasionally, in the distance, but never to speak to. It sorta felt like we were beneath her purview, infected with some socially undesirable aura.

I was interviewed by the cops. I recalled hearing the deep-throated rumble of big bikes a few nights before I saw her front door uncharacteristically ajar: and the repetitively playing ‘Hotel California’ drifting softly into the street. I knocked, called out and tentatively ventured down the hall.

The Herald Sun was carrying reports of a witness-protection program gone terrifyingly wrong. They also reported a high-profile, criminal prosecution case collapsing.

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