The beautifully delicate butterfly settled near my left ear. I barely felt her landing but the whispered inducement startled me.
She quietly informed me that I had been selected to receive three wishes. Why me, I cynically thought, unquestionably accepting this extraordinary happening! As if whispering butterflies were a ‘dime-a-dozen’, as if an offer of three wishes were something other than ancient folklore. I must have been dreaming, as my mind subconsciously chose an ice cream – a sort of validity test – and the vanilla cone was immediately, snugly in my hand!
This is ridiculous, but I had to wrestle with my brain to forestall another wish to test the waters again! I mean, what-if… hang on, wow this actually might be real!
My mind was racing, ideas, conjectures, possibilities. There was an insistent voice warning against squandering the wishes, not that they were real … wake up. But the ice cream was melting in my hand!
So, what might I wish? Health, wealth and happiness – was that one wish? What about ethical objectives – a universal elimination of poverty and pestilence, a pox on Orban, Putin, Trump and Morrison, or peace and tolerance … where do I get advice on the admissibility of a collective wish?
I looked about for the little butterfly, but it had flown off. There were other questions needing answers. Why was I selected to receive the gifts, who did the selecting – was there a committee – akin to the Nobel Academy? How long was I going to get, to finalise my wishes, noting that my ice cream had mostly melted onto the grass?
It was tricky to avoid the subconscious phrase “I wish for…”. It had hovered and sploshed around, ever close to my consciousness since the butterfly’s arrival. If I wished for something really good, would I get recognition for my gratuitous offering to humanity? Might I get the Nobel Prize. That’d be cool!
I was fantasizing about being on the dais in Stockholm. Out of left field a wish to fix my balding pate slipped past my guard. Bling, my 1960’s locks were back in place. Shit! How did that happen? Only one wish left. OK It’s gotta be a goody! No more half-arsed brain fades.
Could I really save humanity, maybe reversing the impacts of climate change. Hang on, what would that entail? I have got to be careful. Would we still have cars, or electricity, meat and veg? This is going to be difficult. What if my remaining wish sent us all back into serfdom, horse and cart transport, gruel to eat and plagues to dodge?
I needed guidance. I wish I had somebody to … Stop! My God, that was close! I was now on tenterhooks, scared shitless that my brain was going to accidentally torpedo my plans to save the planet. How do you eliminate a phrase from your memory?
It has now been twenty-four hours since the butterfly’s visit. I was stressed to the max. I had had very little sleep, constantly on guard against THAT phrase! Mrs Google has not provided any help, either, after several hours looking for guidance on climate change reversal.
Jees, I wish I had a million dollars for every time that phrase has popped …cha-ching!