We’re holidaying at the seaside. I’ve bribed the grandkids with the promise of a bag of lollies, in exchange for cleaning up their bunk room.
While we would normally start the day in the surf, I was reminded that today was Lollie-day! We sauntered down to the shop – that’s where things started to unravel. The door was locked, a notice instructed shoppers to download the Jolly Lolly Shoppe App to gain entry!
An App for a lolly shop, for an entry code! What’s happening? I didn’t have my phone on me and suggested we find another shop, a conventional one. The kids set up a collective whine: I sent them back to get my phone!
I couldn’t get over the App’s necessity! They’re bloody lollies, for goodness sake. I successfully loaded the software and we trooped in. Entry triggered the lights and an inhuman welcoming invitation to download lollies! There were huge colourful tubes of tantalising confectionery around the walls, each assigned a unique code to deliver 50gms of a chosen sweet. A stack of dixie baskets sat near the door.
I was gobsmacked. The kids didn’t miss a beat as they started to examine each tube carefully.
There was a bench seat. I sat and read the App’s instructions. My mind was reeling. Was this actually happening? Would I wake up from an Orwellian dream? I was instructed to download a menu, insert selected sweet’s code, and then swipe my card!
“Wow, look at these.” “Nah, these are bigger.” “I really love the red ones.” And the assessments continued, totally focused, for fifteen minutes. There were quite considered discussions between the three of them; everyone had perspectives on the merits of soft jellies, hard mints, wrapped versus sticky assortments. I urged the mob towards final selections – I needed a pee, and we would still need to go to the bakery for bread before heading back!
Winston had made his three selections. One of his chosen sweets I seemed to remember in my day was called a ‘gob-smacker’. Very appropriate, I thought! He had a full basket and was making his way across to the bench. He tripped on the edge of the carpet. Sweets went flying, but tears were contained as I collected his bounty and re-basketed them.
Julia had selected jubes, mints and as agreed, was making advances on her 3rd 50gm stash. Snakes were in her sights. Meanwhile, the 8-year-old big sister, Jennifer had already made her three choices and she urged me to repeat the coded rigmarole to deliver her treasure. Loaded up, she sat with Winston, with two fruit jellies being tested for quality assurance!
I ended up exchanging half a gold brick for 450 grams of sugar. Everyone was happy, sucking and slurping as we got the wholemeal loaf and meandered back along the seaside to our holiday cottage.
We passed two other App-sentried shops along the Esplanade. I ponder this AI-facilitated, synthetic, manipulated, jobless future society. Intelligent? Unlikely! I want to get off!