(with thanks to Disney, Orwell and Huxley)
Winston: “Did we humans ever marry, have babies, garden, make decisions about our own lives?”
Droid: “That query is acknowledged and has been queued. It will take several moments to consider a possible answer. Be patient, a response will be generated shortly.”
“While the Regime considers the query, it is suggested that time should be allocated to visit Consumer Realm. Transfer tickets can be secured by deducting forty-eight Bytes from a personal Cohort Existence allocation, partially offset by offering four thousand Labour Inputs to the Regime.” “Consumer Realm brings happiness and rewards. Six hundred cohorts reported being entertained, with a satisfaction rating of 7 after their visit. For the next fifteen minutes, the Regime is offering two-for-one discounted Consumer Realm transfers.”
“The query has now been referred to the Complexity Department. To facilitate an unambiguous response, confirm the Enquirer’s cohort identification, assigned status, residential ranking and Social Assistance registration number.”
“Those details did not compute. The Cohort identity coefficients must be re-entered.”
“But be assured that the enquiry is assessed as valid and valued. Be patient while the Regime further considers the several possible answers to the enquiry.”
“While this is occurring, consider allocating time to visit Fantasy Land. Transfer tickets can be secured by deducting fifty-eight Bytes from a personal Cohort Existence allocation, partially offset by offering three thousand Labour Inputs to the Regime. Feedback confirms Fantasy Land fulfils dreams, with a satisfaction rating of 7. For the next ten minutes, the Regime is offering a two-for-one discounted Fantasyland transfer.”
“The enquiry is now being rerouted to the Extremely Complex Department. To facilitate an unambiguous response, confirm the Enquirer’s cohort identification, assigned status, residential ranking and Social Assistance registration number!”
“Those details did not compute. The Cohort identity coefficients must be re-entered.”
“This enquiry is important. Cohort input and patience is valued. The Regime is undertaking further consideration of the several possible answers to the enquiry.”
“The Regime recommends that time is allocated to visit Big Pharma. Thirty-two Bytes will be deducted from a personal Cohort Existence allocation, partially offset by offering six thousand and twenty-seven Labour Inputs to the Regime. Feedback confirms that Big Pharma is soothingly mind-altering, with a satisfaction rating of 7. For the next ten minutes, the Regime is offering a two-for-one discounted Big Pharma transfer.”
“The system is reaching out for additional Labour Inputs. The system advises it is unable to answer the enquiry at this time… at this time… at this ti… at this…. Allocate time to visit somewhere … somewhe … some … ah, blurrrp.”
Post script: The Droid stumbles and collapses to the floor. Sparks and smoke fill the space. It vibrates, and electronic pieces fly across the room. The building’s walls start to crumble, and an apple orchard can be seen outside. A stunned Winston scrambles through the rubble into the garden. He sits on a bench, expectantly waiting for something, for some direction. Another human figure arrives, “Hello, I’m Evelyn”. She smiles, offering Winston a big, bright red apple!