An oft-told tale

Posted in Poems

An oft-told tale

Two friends and I journey north to be

Visiting that ill-fated, deep-notched tree

Writ large and oft in Australia’s psyche

To Coopers Creek, that desperate site

Where history tells of a nasty plight

Just hours betwixt glory and lethal blight.

 

One hundred and sixty years now passed

Since King, Burke and Wills returned at last

Those three men stumbled upon our creek

And drank, then cried, laughing as exhaustion, deep

Nightmares swirl, relive trials beyond out yonder

While brown men come, peer down and ponder.

 

These ghostly men are here again, such shame without no grace

Blaspheme against our protocols; there’s surely none in place,

Instead they stumble in and breach our long-held ancient lore

These pale-skin ones, to Paakantyi, are so red and raw

Their frames dishevelled, burnt, and obviously hungry

No pride, or learning evident, for living in this country.

 

There’s lignum at the waterhole, milkvetch under trees

Kangaroo and Echidna roam and birds fly on the breeze

There’s lots to eat, our parents taught, we and this land are one

So why have these pale-skins failed to eat and feed their tums

We tried to speak, even offered food, the big one starts to shout

He throws fire from his shiny stick, and madly runs about!

 

It’s odd how new pale ones come, as the others did but scoot

The early mob just sat around, since the fig tree first set fruit

That fruit him finished long ago, but now they’re acting funny

They yell and argue between themselves, and lie out when it’s sunny

They’ve carved our tree, the sacred one and like the kookaburra

They flap and yell, I think they tell us leave our Call-yu-murra.

 

But why depart, the season’s ripe, oh those silly, ghostly men

So we took our leave, then watched them go and circled back agin,

The next mob came as the sun got hot, just three walk in and flop

Beside our shaded waterhole, they drink and laugh, then drop

Asleep they’re all just lying still, like pale skins seen before

Protocols not understood, just come and trash our lore.

 

These skinny men, with sunburnt skin, are smelly too, we state

These sleeping souls, their ragged looks, we wonder what’s their fate.

Did they know that just this morn, the others packed and left

But not before they’d notched our tree and buried their big chest

Unknown gear, supplies dug deep thinking we’d never be alert

To the mine-like pile of fresh-dug dirt, proprietorial rights we’ll assert.

 

But to conclude it must be said we mates ne’r made it past

Packsaddle pub, where the weather Gods sent down a mighty blast

First dust that wiped out everything, then floods that closed the roads

We had no choice but divorce our plans and find out new abodes

First Broken Hill, then Peterborough, the Flinders came to view

That Dig Tree remains forlorn, unseen, a future trip to brew!

Meredith’s cat

Posted in Poems

The girl was adopted by a wandering puss

And that meant quite flatly nought left to discuss

After snacking and play throughout that first day

The moggie said “Yes, I think I will stay.”

 

Tinned chicken, warmed milk and other soft treats

It was obvious there would be plenty of eats

A comfy soft bed, mice toys to pursue

Curtains to shred and discreet litter, for poo.

 

Drawn curtains keep cold winter chills well away

Rugged up and comfy, of course I will stay

No need for dead lizards or birdies to stalk

I now have an owner, my God how we talk.

 

My skills as a hunter in previous times

Were writ largely and often recording my crimes

But those days are behind, because of the glass

And the doorway that closes to forestall hurried pass!

 

She tickles my tum and if needed wipes bum

We both enjoy music, and that’s why we hum

As she sits at her desk composing her prose

I lie at the window, purring softly and doze.

 

She hails from the Taylors, of proud lineage

Meredith, yes, that’s right, through matrilineage

And pardon me dear, did you say Ereeka

No, no I correct her, my name is Gemima.

Clancy, the Tom

Posted in Poems

For want of better knowledge I sprayed Mortein on a spider,

And the next day t’was found discussing with a friend

If my action was a slaughter akin to keeping cats as pets

And we found ourselves in corners hurling threats.

 

Her defence was unexpected, saying owners do take care

To ensure their pussies never wander here or there

I countered with some data that I drew from boffin Tim,

Of the antics of the wild puss, oh, so grim.

 

I quote three hundred and ninety million lives lost every year

And that was just from pussies in the bushman’s lair

One hundred and eighty animals, or half a life each day

Went to felines who were now just seen as stray

 

Oh that is so unfair to brand him, Clancy always wears his bell

And he never would, never could inflict deathly knell

He has litter in the laundry, and licks himself so clean

And he only eats flavoured kibble, and it’s lean.

 

I admit that Clancy did go out late one recent night

He was with the lady cat next door, mmm, maybe t’was a fight

But I noticed her tum was bulging and a birthing did arrive

Seven little extras duly roam our local parks and drives.

 

I have often pondered widely on impregnations due to Clancy

With his active gonads floating boldly, free and fancy

Now those seven new arrivees did they grow and widely plunder

Free to roam to where the townsfolk rarely go.

 

From Flannery’s research data I now draw and sadly quote it

And I’ve assumed the seven off-spring flourished, and were fit

Seven mouths, seven years, and half a life each day

From Clancy’s just one outing, a total eight thousand lives must pay.

Paperbark wasps

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While paper makes up half their name

The sting suggests less tamer game

Falls prey, this an idle thought, for what

I need be giving is a lethal swat!

 

“Just grab the hose and lift it over that shrub, will ya”. At that moment, beachside, at Milikapiti, on Melville Island, all hell breaks loose. She screams, dances, runs round insanely, yelling hysterically, painfully. It took a moment to absorb the scene, but I run, inevitably joining the dance of the three hundred, wasps zeroing left, swipe, right, swipe, above and below, swipe, targeting two, as easy as one.

Such teeny small, weeny things,

nary a cent twould fit be-twixt their wings,

but packed complete with kryptonite

They leave a horrible, deadly bite

The beasties even come inside

To inspect the damage to our hide

We run and curse and flap abit

The ‘Mortein’ delivers a needed king-hit.

 

Red, raw, bleeding lumps grow menacingly, as clothes are stripped away and we sink, crammed into a hurriedly filled, calamine-infused bath. Seven minutes.

We eventually pick at each other; tweezers employed to draw the barbs. Tears, hiccups, blubbering easing, heart rates slowing, even reflective laughter at our intimate encounter with the beasties. Twenty minutes.

I am on alert for anaphylaxis. We sit en-bathed, refilled oft times for warmth, as we talk of the onslaught. Sixty minutes.

Heck, did I turn the hose off?

Ode to my neighbours

Posted in Poems

Skimble Shanks the railway cat was read to me at three

I don’t remember much of it ‘cept rhyme did capture me,

Mum the pages turned for hats, and a cat in coloured coat,

E’vn cashed up owls and pussy awash, at sea in a pea-green boat.

But if I’m honest, I must admit, the only puss worrying me,

Is the one that comes around at night, and shits on my Pe-on-y!

 

I set the trap the other night, I’d hired to work my scheme,

Ostensibly for retrieval, to remove the possum team,

But my real intent was dastardly bent, on trapping that fluffy shitter.

So I warmed the milk, and sent a prayer to dear little Mister Kitter,

An invocation sent by me, inviting one more spree,

As I placed the cage beside the couch and went inside for tea.

 

I dreamt a dream that final night of Tom’s oft streetly skives,

About a giant pterosaur that roamed the night time skies,

Intent on getting justice, jees so much bloody pshaw,

For lizards, birds and frogs of yore, dispatched via puss’s paw.

Enoughs’ enough her cry went out, safety and equality,

No more obfuscation dears, nor bleatings “nought here to see”.

 

When I awoke I took my smoke, and went outside to pee,

Forgotten last night’s trapping stunt, until delightedly,

I heard the hiss, I saw the face, and now I am a-doing,

This Puss was mine, his anger real, capture, his undoing.

“I wasn’t here” I heard him snarl, “You can’t believe this stuff”,

“I went outside for toileting, due home in just a juff!”*

 

OK, OK, enough” I said, the cage I lift carefully,

To take a closer look to confirm the anatomy,

Did it match the fleeting glimpse of squatting arsehole shute,

Of scrape and grunt, a lick of paw, and tail waved in salute,

I had no doubt, resolve affirmed, so ready to dispatch,

A cage upon the neighbour’s lawn, with subtle note attached.

 

In part, it read: “keep yer fucking shitting-cat off my Peony, or else …!”

* (Ed: cat is of Kiwi origins)

I lost Autumn

Posted in Poems

Autumn passed by me, in barely a trot

One moment twas hot, and then, well, it was not

Yeh, I did see the changes, the trees turning brown

From the lounge room bay windows, the leaves falling down

But closed up inside home, your cut from the world

And the friend’s front-gate banter has all but been furled

So while sunshine was there, on one or two days

I know winter is coming, cos we’ve done most of Maze.

Trim

Posted in Poems

Matthew Flinders had a cat with which he went to sea
His boat was named Investigator, Trim his feline-e
They sailed around Australie in Eighteen two and three
So here I am considering how we mark that bi-cen-ten-ery.

I worked beside Encounter Bay a decade, maybe more
And had input to a talkfest, just a paltry group of four
Councillors that were very keen to caste a bronze of Trim
And erect it to commemorate where Nich met Matt and him.

I raised my hand and questioned why we’d want to celebrate
A cat, a blight, an escapee that has become the heavyweight
In unassisted, unimagined wildlife devastation
A mouser that has become the blight across our nation.

All were keen to caste a bronze except just lonely me
So as a compromise I suggest we bury Trim at Sea
He could rest exactly, and forever he could be
Where those seamen shared a mug, a pannikin of tea.

My unliked suggestion was verily, just ignored
First caste and then the bronze, very hot was duly poured
Trim’s likeness now stands wretchedly on Victor’s sandy shore
An ill considered memory, of stupidity, ever more.

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