Childcare and school drop-offs were both achieved without incident, and I had mostly wiped off the youngest’s dribbled milk from the front of my suit. The slightly dark, damp patch would disappear in half an hour: the interview was an hour away.

As a full-time ‘house dad’, I had been out of the workforce now for five years, and this was going to be my attempt to re-enter the world of ‘big people’. The job had ideal hours – 09:30 through to 14:30 knock-off – perfect: drop-off and pick-up both fitting in seamlessly. I was a little nervous, but I reviewed my credentials one last time and entered the restaurant.

Owner/Chef Sophie led the interview; her Sommelier, Henri, completed the panel. We sat in the rather gloomy dining room, at a table, two chairs on the far side, and mine. I sat.  The table posed quite a formidable barrier, and the table lamp cast preoccupying shadows onto the mirror behind them. I was feeling intimidated and could feel my self-confidence ebbing.

“Thank you for coming in this morning. To set the scene, maybe you could outline what previous Barista experience you would bring to us?” Sophie poses. I sense that she is not a particularly comfortable interviewer herself; a hair-twisting mannerism plays throughout the interview.

“Well, actually, I’ve never worked as a professional Barista, but I am often complimented on the coffee I make at home on our DeLonghi. I completed a TAFE Barista-training course last month, and I can make quite magical designs atop lattes!”

There was throat clearing before Henri asks, “I see from your application that you have been out of the workforce for a few years. Do you think the workplace might have changed in that time, and if so, how?”

“I headed up the research team at the Ballarat Coffee Research Centre for three years. We had been researching the capacity to extend both the wholesale and retail ‘shelf life’ of the beans, maximising flavours by adjusting roasting temperatures and timing, post-grind oxidation, and particularly the packaging seal. I still maintain email contact with the program and note that there have been significant advances, particularly with the Arabica and Robusta bean choice and the seal.”

“Impressive,” said Sophie, but I notice she is still preoccupied with a wayward strand, and there is an ever-so-brief, non-verbal exchange between them! OK, this was where I needed to insert my practised, killer line.

“In my final year, I worked specifically on the extraction differentials: the bean-age and storage, grind and temperature, milk texturing, the pour and the impact of these variables on the final brew. So, while never working as a Barista, I do know a lot about what goes into delivering the perfect coffee. Maybe I could demonstrate my skills on your machine?”

Sophie and Henri nod. “Could you make me a Short Black, please, and a Flat White for Henri.”

I adjust their Gaggia Vetro’s settings. “Bellissimo!”

I find that ‘big people’ have indeed changed: screen-time has killed a lot of the chatter!